I might be having a breakdown!
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| Tue, 08-14-2007 - 3:30pm |
So I was mugged this weekend and called the ex to get my passport because I need to fly tomorrow morning. He came by yesterday to give it to me in person (against my wishes) and to make sure I was OK (I'm fine). Well OF COURSE we both started crying and it was a big mess. I had a panic attack and as nicely as possible told him it was time for him to go, and that I'm simply not ready to be in touch or catch up. He dried his eyes, kissed my forehead and left. Then the texts started. He loves me, I've taught him so much about love, he can't sleep, we were so close...on and on. It was his bday yesterday, so after he left me he went to his friend's place to relax (not drinking or anything like that). Finally he sent a text last night saying he was tearing up infront of his friend so he'd stop. Till this morning. I couldn't sleep all night and first thing when I get to work, he's sending me more long depressing texts about how upset he is and how seeing me last night reminded him of everything we had and he can't get my scent out of his mind....I responded to 1 text last night, saying "Happy Bday - that's all you should be thinking about tonight. 27 will be a good year!" then one today when he asked if he could depress either of us anymore to which I said "Probably not"
I haven't cried today (I TOTALLY did last night) but I have SUCH anxiety. My doc gave me klonopin for exactly these situations but of course that's at home, and I SERIOUSLY feel like I might have a heart attack, I can't calm down. My hands are getting all clammy, I'm having trouble breathing. What am I supposed to do? He's stopped. At least for today. I KNOW there's no way I can handle this.

Take deep breaths.
Since you are going to see your family, I highly recommend you turn off your phone while you are with them and that you don't read his texts.
::I KNOW there's no way I can handle this.
If that is what you *think* then that is how it will be.
relax, breathe....
do you have a paper back that you could breathe into? is there a window nearby that you can possibly get some air?
i'm sorry about the mugging. i can imagine how scared you must have been...
things happen for a reason and although it was rather unfortuate what happend to you, maybe this is the universe telling you that you two are not over yet. things happen for a reason and although this attention is unwanted at the moment - this could be a sign.
ravishing