I miss the affection so much....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
I miss the affection so much....
5
Sun, 10-09-2005 - 5:29pm

Just another element in the misery.....

My exboyfriend was so affectionate with me all the time. He was sweet and this is the part of him I wish to not remember, but I miss it so much.

What in the world can we do without this. It's like all the love was taken out of your life. Yes, our families and friends love us in their own way, but it mutually exclusive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-11-2005 - 4:40pm
Exactly, and giving it too, i miss hugging him and kissing him and spoiling him with love and the fact that he didnt even appreciate it at all and went and found someone else to share it with
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 1:15pm

That is very hard! I had waited 4 years after the breakup of my marriage to start dating. I had managed to go that long (well actually longer) without any affection and was just fine. Then I became involved with someone I was crazy about. He was very affectionate -- in the sweet and sexy way (no groping, thank you) When we broke-up, that was one of the hardest things to let go of. I missed the physical-ness of him. Maybe that is why so many people keep seeing their exes even after it is over. Or bounce into a rebound relationship that usually never turns out well. When that affection feels good, it can become like an addiction. One day at a time -- hang in there.

Lois

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 1:46pm
I totally agree, and like in my situation it is totally compounded my the fact that his friends are my friends and my job is his job, we lived, worked, socialized together, everyday inseperable for 9 months and now the only thing thats changed is the living situation, he still works where I do and talks to the same people I do, So what am I supposed to do, quit my job and get a whole new set of friends? It isnt fair that he gets to just change his mind and be fine with seeing me everyday because frankly he could care less either way because he just didnt feel the same about me anymore, while nothing for me has changed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 7:59pm

"It isnt fair that he gets to just change his mind and be fine with seeing me everyday because frankly he could care less either way because he just didnt feel the same about me anymore, while nothing for me has changed."

I so agree with this. It is 100% not fair. This is what I don't understand with break-ups - they are so horribly unfair on the person being broken up with. Because nothing is like it was, and there is nothing you can do about it really.

I hear ya...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 8:30pm
And the other thing is his whole i could give a crap attitude and the contempt he has for me, like yeah, we are done, so what get over it and leave me alone, i'm happy without you now, and hangs up on me, I am like how could you be happy with someone else in 10 days? But like others have told me, men dont think like we do, they think ok that didnt work, onto the next, no feeling of regret, guilt, just go plant it in someone else and see if it grows, as I dont sleep for 10 days and become a walking zombie.