I miss him...what should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2007
I miss him...what should I do?
1
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:48am

I'm 24 and I was with my boyfriend and father of my child for 7 years and we broke up last November. He moved out of my home and into my best friend's home with her and her boyfriend. I talked him into doing so because I knew he would need the support. I broke up with him because I wasn't happy. I wanted a single life mainly to explore myself and find happiness within myself so I could be the one to "do-it-all" instead of having him do everything. Sexually I wasn't happy...and I cheated on him a couple weeks before he moved out. I regret it painfully and would take it back if I could. My unhappiness made him unhappy, so I let him go in hopes that he would be happier eventually. I knew that I would miss him terribly and I had hoped that we could get through it and it was only temporary. He knew my thoughts on this and left without looking back. I really needed his support through this but he needed his space, so I gave it to him. Now he's a completely different person, he still cares about me but I 'm angry with him for deserting me completely. I needed his friendship and his shoulder. Its been six months now, and I fell in love with my room mate and best friend Sam. Sam knows I have trouble getting over my breakup...and he loves me unconditionally. But I can't bring myself to stop thinking about my ex and being jealous of him and his friends. Since we broke up, he managed to get all my friends (of 10 years) to look down upon me to make himself feel better. He's angry at me for making him leave...understandably. I have done everything in my power to make it an easy transition for all of us, yet all my thoughtfulness went unnoticed. I was there for him when he needed me, yet he couldn't be there for me. Until now, but now I'm angry because I feel like he deserted me and took all my friends with him. I don't feel like I can love sam because I still hold my ex in my heart. But Sam wants to marry me...I feel heavy and I need some guidance.

I still love my ex and I miss him terribly. Everything I am is because of him and everything I own has a memory of him...I can't throw away my house, the fence he built, or the memories we built together. I messed up by throwing my life away for my selfish need to be happy...and I want my happiness back with my Ex...but part of me knows it wouldn't work because there is too many problems that he isn't willing to address or improve. So I need to move on...but I can't let go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 2:49pm

Welcome to the board sparkylilgirl,


Everything you feel is normal. The anger, the grief, the wanting him to be there for you etc.