I miss my friend/ Ex!
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| Fri, 05-25-2007 - 2:53pm |
Hello,
This is my first time posting here. I need some advice on how to deal with my ex. We mutually broke up last year because he had to work 500 miles away from where I live but we remained in touch. I was never ‘madly in love with him’ or so I thought until we broke up. We definitely had something anyway.
We remained in touch for the first 6 months after our break up, talking on the phone for ours on weekends, exchanging work tips, gossiping, etc … I enjoyed talking to him and he knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. He dated someone briefly and so did I…We told each other everything about our new dates, etc….
3 months ago, I went to where he lives (on business) and didn’t have time to meet him which clearly upset him. When I went back home he never phoned me for a week…I phoned him and apologized then things got back to normal….
3 weeks later he came to where I live on business while I was away on business myself. Though I was only 40 miles away, we couldn’t arrange to meet. He said that ‘may be it wasn’t meant to be’! We still talked and emailed as usual for about a month then his calls began to be less frequent, he still emailed me more than once a week and said that he was really busy with work, etc
I went on a few dates and as usual told him about everything but it didn’t seem like he wanted to listen, he’d always change subjects and talk about work. All of a sudden, his emails became less frequent but he still texted me!
Last month he went away on business and his mobile phone was switched off all the time. When he got back I phoned him, he seemed very friendly but after about 15 minutes he said that he had to go and that he hoped we’d ‘chat soon’…..But he never phoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent him a forward yesterday and he never replied….Is he like…cutting me off??!! My friend tells me that it sounds like he is but I don’t want to admit it…
I am thinking ‘what have I done wrong?’ I’ve always been there for him when he needed me, may be I moaned to him about work a lot? May be I shouldn’t have told him about my date…well, but he tells me about his ‘unsuccessful’ dates! May be it’s OK not to reply to forwards (though these ones were just sent to him, not to a group’…May be I should have started my forward with ‘Hi, hope you’re OK’ or something so that he’d reply to me…..Maybe he didn’t think I was expecting a reply…….May be I’m reading too much into things? Lol
I just miss him….Though we’re not dating anymore I wanted him to be a part of my life… Do I sound desperate? I just miss him as a friend and I don’t know what’s going on.
Do you have any advice for me?
Thanks
Liz
Edited 5/25/2007 3:02 pm ET by autumnleaves123

Liz,
I too miss my friend. Its almost like a death. I know that sounds kind of morbid, but it true. It is hard to say good-bye to someone that you love. So much happens throughout my day, and I want to tell him. I know he'd laugh or give advice, he would understand like nobody else does. My situation recently turned ugly. He was still calling, we were still friends and I find out he was dating somebody else! Turns out he believes he loves her and he has been cheating on her with me, at first physically, then just emotionally. He said and did some horrible things, yet I still find myself missing him. The advice I have kept reading on these boards is to move on, let go, and no contact. I know from past relationships, it does get better. Just let go. I have finally let go and I was having bad days, now they are just bad times.
It will get better, just hang in there. I still am hurting but its getting better. I'm here if you need to talk.
Hugs, Shar