i need advice...
Find a Conversation
i need advice...
| Mon, 01-15-2007 - 9:18pm |
ok, i find myself in a very complicated situastion. i met this guy online. we talked online for a long time, and i could feel myself falling in love with him. we finally met about two month afterwards, and he asked me out. i was on a huge high...then he kissed me, and i felt something that i had never felt before. it was so magical...i saw fireworks!!
we both fell deeply in love with each other. but then, my mother, whom i live with, met him. she hated him!!....with a passion. she forbade me to see him or even talk to him. for months, if she would catch me on the phone with him, she would flip out...and throw fits!! but, i guess my persistance got to her, and she finally allowed me to talk to him on the phone.
well, he and i found clever ways to see eachother. i.e. him sneaking over to my house while my mom is at bingo, meeting him at the mall, ect... well, this was extremely hard; loving someone so much, and yet being able to see him once, maybe twice a month. we did this for about 6 months. oh, i forgot. throughout this entire thing, we broke up 7 times...i know, i know, this sounds aweful. but we broke up because we never saw eachother..and i guess he thought that by not having me as ''girlfriend''...and just ''best friend'' would make him feel any less miserable. well, it didnt. and we ended up, each time, getting back together.
just a few hours ago, he broke up with me for the 8th time. this time it was a totally different reason. he's not completely over his ex girlfriend. the girl who he spent one and a half years with, and lost his virginity to. i knew throughout our entire relationship, that he still loved her...i mean, if you are in a serious relationship for so long, you are obviously going to love them...but not be 'in-love' with them. but, for him to come to me and tell me that he's not over her. i am so devistated. i know that he does love me, we have an amazing bond...we've even discussed marrage several times. i truly believe that this man is my soulmate.
the reason he broke up with me, due to this reason, is because his ex called him a few days ago, saying that she heard that he was bad-mouthing her. i guess all of these old feeling came rushing back for him.
but, i am adament that i am not going to give up on him. i know deep down inside that he is the person that i am supposed to be with for the rest of my life. and, i trust our love...i know that he feels the exact same way about me. he has said, and showed it, throughout our relationship. i just dont know how to cope with this. i feel strongly that we will get back together again, but i just dont know how to feel right now. i mean, the thought of being with another man sickens me. i have found my man. should i just wait it out? should i talk his feelings over with him? what sould i do?? please help me.
we both fell deeply in love with each other. but then, my mother, whom i live with, met him. she hated him!!....with a passion. she forbade me to see him or even talk to him. for months, if she would catch me on the phone with him, she would flip out...and throw fits!! but, i guess my persistance got to her, and she finally allowed me to talk to him on the phone.
well, he and i found clever ways to see eachother. i.e. him sneaking over to my house while my mom is at bingo, meeting him at the mall, ect... well, this was extremely hard; loving someone so much, and yet being able to see him once, maybe twice a month. we did this for about 6 months. oh, i forgot. throughout this entire thing, we broke up 7 times...i know, i know, this sounds aweful. but we broke up because we never saw eachother..and i guess he thought that by not having me as ''girlfriend''...and just ''best friend'' would make him feel any less miserable. well, it didnt. and we ended up, each time, getting back together.
just a few hours ago, he broke up with me for the 8th time. this time it was a totally different reason. he's not completely over his ex girlfriend. the girl who he spent one and a half years with, and lost his virginity to. i knew throughout our entire relationship, that he still loved her...i mean, if you are in a serious relationship for so long, you are obviously going to love them...but not be 'in-love' with them. but, for him to come to me and tell me that he's not over her. i am so devistated. i know that he does love me, we have an amazing bond...we've even discussed marrage several times. i truly believe that this man is my soulmate.
the reason he broke up with me, due to this reason, is because his ex called him a few days ago, saying that she heard that he was bad-mouthing her. i guess all of these old feeling came rushing back for him.
but, i am adament that i am not going to give up on him. i know deep down inside that he is the person that i am supposed to be with for the rest of my life. and, i trust our love...i know that he feels the exact same way about me. he has said, and showed it, throughout our relationship. i just dont know how to cope with this. i feel strongly that we will get back together again, but i just dont know how to feel right now. i mean, the thought of being with another man sickens me. i have found my man. should i just wait it out? should i talk his feelings over with him? what sould i do?? please help me.

A few questions, how long have you been communicating with him? How long have you been seeing him? How old are both of you?
For all ages: If an ex is in the picture and he's not over her, don't allow 'love' to cloud your vision. He's still got baggage and attachments, then he's not ready for a serious relationship.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
i do realize that our ages will probably make anyone just say, oh, you'll get over it. its just young love. But I feel so much different with him. He has made me feel incredible. I love him with everything that i am. and he feels the same for me.
I can understand his attachment to his ex, be cause they were together for such a long time, and they did both lose their virginity to eachother. But, i find myself wondering if he's just recalling the idea of being with her, and being with his 'first' forever. I mean, she cheated on him. and that scarred him badly. He's very sensitive to the entire act of cheating. His parents got divorced over cheating. Me, it sickens me to think of cheating on him. But, i have no idea why he would still want to be with someone who did that to him.
i just feel like, love isnt something to simply 'throw away'. and since i feel like i've found an amazing man, i dont want to throw it away.