I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET :(
2
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 1:36pm

OK....HERE IS MY STORY....

MY BOYFRIEND( EX AS OF TODAY) AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR A YEAR. OUR WEDDING DATE WAS SUPPOSE TO BE MARCH 5, 2005. WELL, I SING IN A PROFESSIONAL, FULL-TIME SOUTHERN GOSPEL GROUP. A MONTH BEFORE OUR WEDDING, HE TELLS ME I HAVE TO QUIT SINGING, WHICH I HAVE DONE MY ENTIRE LIFE, OR HE WONT MARRY ME. OK, THIS IS LIKE THE DREAM I HAVE ALWAYS HAD AND HE KNOWS THAT. HE WANTS ME TO STAY HOME WITH HIM. OK, I UNDERSTAND ALL THIS, BUT I WOULD NEVER EVER ASK HIM TO LEAVE SOMETHING HE LOVES SO MUCH. HE TELLS ME I DONT LOVE HIM OR I WOULD SACRAFICE IT. I SAY HE DOESNT LOVE ME BECAUSE HE WOULD WANT TO MAKE ME GIVE IT UP. NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WOULDNT SET ANOTHER DATE BECAUSE WE HAD NOT WORKED OUT OUR ISSUES. HE TOOK MY ENGAGEMENT RING AND IS SELLING IT. HE DID THAT ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO. WELL, TODAY HE BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE SAYS HE CANT GO FROM BEING MY FIACE TO MY BOYFRIEND AND ITS TOO MUCH EMOTIONAL STRESS. I REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE RIGHT NOW. NO DOUBT, I LOVE HIM OR I WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM A LOOOONG TIME AGO~~!!!! PLEASE EVERYONE BE HONEST AND HELP ME. ITS OK IF YOU THINK ITS MY FAULT, BUT I NEED SOME ADVICE BECAUSE I DONT THINK MINE IS WORKING WELL.....THANKS SO MUCH :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 3:03pm

Deep.
Breaths.

Ok, if that doesn't help, then let yourself believe that you deserve better than he could give you. I think you do, and I imagine many others do too. He wasn't asking you to compromise, but rather to give up something you love. And to do what? Sit at home?? I think I'd tell him to get a lap dog if he really wants a companion like that.

(Excuse the hostility... I can't stand for men to think that women deserve nothing more than to see the inside of a kitchen all day.)

Just be you. If that's not good enough for him, then he's not good enough for you.

Now, deep breath again. I believe you will get through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 3:13pm
Ahhh thanks!! Well, if he would quit calling I may be ok. My only thing is that I love him. I mean, there is NO way it could be infatuation because you would have to LOVE this person to deal with him. HEHEHE There is no way you could be infatuated with a man who gets irritaded to easily. I tell him those are my goals and he thinks they are retarded. Well, I know that I want to be with him, but I have wanted to sing professionally since I was young and I have finally been given the chance. www.sgmfanfair.com That has been my goal forever and I am FINALLY, FINALLY getting the chance. I am in one of those groups on the site. Anyhow, maybe all the tears and crying and wishing I was still with him will go away soon. Everything reminds me of him though, so hopefully all these little rememberances will fade. Oh well, guess I'll smile through it all. A pearl always comes from an irritation :)