I need to give him back his stuff.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
I need to give him back his stuff.......
7
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:32pm
I am about 3 weeks post break-up (my choice) with a slight minor setback last weekend with some emotional emails. I still have some of his things that he wants back. Should I avoid seeing him and just take them to his house and leave them on the back deck and send an email telling him where they are? That kind of seems like the weeny way out. Should I drop them off on my way to work some morning (he lives about 4 blocks from me), or call him and tell him to come get them???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 11:55pm
I'd e-mail him telling him that his stuff will be on the back deck of your house for him to pick it up. Arraing a time for him to come pick it up so you don't cross paths with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:30pm
I went through something similar a couple of weeks ago & I just dropped of his stuff. Once I made my decision there was no need for me to see or discuss things with him any longer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:08pm
Pack it in a box and ship it to him, for a couple of dollars you can avoid a lot of frustration. Plus then you have no chance of running into him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 7:35pm

I agree!

I mailed my ex his stuff & all the gifts he gave me, even though he didn't want it back. I requested he drop my stuff on the front porch which he did while I was at work.

Message was very clear: I don't want to see you and I don't want your stuff.

Made me feel so much stronger to call the shots since he did the breakup!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 7:52pm
You go girl!!!! Good Luck with everything and be strong! Go party like a rock star and let the men flirt with you it makes you feel great. Just remember your not the only one going thru this. And their are tons of wonderful women on this board to keep you strong and to vent to. HUGS!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 8:51pm

It is so hard with him living so close to me. I have had to alter my route to and from work so that I don't drive right by his house. A couple of weeks ago I was coming home from a friend's house after 11 on Sat night, and drove by his house. There was a car in the driveway parked between his and his son's trucks. His son doesn't have much company, so I assumed he probably had female company over watching tv. It may not have been but it bothered me to think he would have someone over so soon. That's when I changed my route and even though its a little out of my way, I don't go by his house anymore.

I suppose I will just put his stuff in my car and drop it off when no one's home. I can get about a block away and see his driveway, so if he's home I'll just go the other way. I know he wants to see me and doesn't understand why I won't see him or talk to him since the breakup was my idea. I am a very emotional person and just because it was my choice doesn't mean I don't still feel the pain. I'll just email him and tell him he wasn't home so I dropped it off. I feel like a weeny, but I'm afraid seeing him will just be painful for us both. He wants to be friends, but its too soon for us to be just friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:40pm
It's OK to alter your route to work for the first months, while you're getting over him. Face him when you're ready. It may take months before this happens.