i need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2006
i need help
4
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 4:57am
hi, i just broke up with my boyfren. we were together for 2 1/2 years.This is my very first relationship. I broke up with him bec he was bein very lazy. i felt tt the spark in the relationship was diminishin. I actually expected him to go all out to win me back but he accepted the break up and neva called me since then
i don really know wat tt means. i also called him and told him tt i want him back he said he wants to be single, he also did tell me tt he loves me lot. i don know what to beleive bec why would he leave me if he loves me!am confused! should i get over him?
two days ago i called him after two weeks. i missed him so much
we had a decent conversation, but then again i felt tt i was the only one takin an effort. i always feel tt i am the only one who wants the relationship bec he does not put in the effort.after the last call he did not call me or message me. does he want the relationship? i don know... can someone tell me a solution, no one around me is givin me a solution. all tt they do is to tell me to wait! i am left hangin in the middle, this affects me!someone needs to help me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
In reply to: mamacita3_16
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 3:13pm
Well, you DID break up with him, obviously he is taking that seriously. He may still love you, but he did tell you that he wants to be single. I would take that exactly as he told you, he wants to be single. I know it hurts, but it sounds like you need to move on from this. There is a reason that you broke up with him in the first place, you need to remind yourself of why whenever you miss him. Also, I think that it would be better to have no contact with him. If he ever wants to get back together, let him come to you (you said that he never called or messaged you). If he does, you can make that decision then, but for now, I would give him a lot of space and concentrate on yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: mamacita3_16
Mon, 11-13-2006 - 3:40pm
Since you were the one who broke up with him, and you had a good reason, then you need to not contact him anymore and move on with your life. I think you are having some feelings of regret but if he is truly lazy and you have always had to make the first moves then why in the world do you want to be with someone like that? I am sure both of you still have deep feelings for each other but he told you he wanted to be single so please, let him be single and see if he ever makes the first move and gets in touch with you. Until that happens, you need to go on with your life without him in it and try your best to enjoy life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
In reply to: mamacita3_16
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 11:22am
I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years for the same reason because he wasn't makig an effort with me and didn't make me feel special. I told him many times that i wanted him to make more effort with me but he didn't. I dumped him because i realised that he would never change. I too wanted him back, but only because i'd only ever been with him and i don't know anything else. 4 days after our break up he sleeps with another girl-what a lucky escape i've had. Glad i dumped him when i did. Why should you have to put up with a bloke who isn't treating you right? I know that there is someone out there for me who is going to treat me how i want to be treated, it jus takes time to find that person. Don't give up and think his the only bloke out there for you coz he aint! Don't contact you anymore and don't be friends with him. He won't make the effort with you when you've broken up so why put yourself through the hurt and pain? I know it is difficult, I'm starting afresh and not contacting my ex from now on and it's difficult but i am gradually getting stronger and i now realise that i'm better off without him and i can't wait to meet the man for me. If you ever need to chat again just message me Jess (UK) X
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
In reply to: mamacita3_16
Wed, 11-15-2006 - 12:08pm

I know how you feel but you have to understand you did the uncoupling. He's taking you seriously and wants to go on with his life. You need to let him do that. If he's not what you want, lazy and all, why accept that behavior? I think you're feeling lonely right now which is understandable. Give yourself somebtime to heal. But whatever you do, don't look back. If you get back together again, the same problems will resurface again only to make you unhappy.