i need help - did i handle this wrong?!
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| Sat, 03-04-2006 - 11:47am |
Need TO VENT:
i broke up with my boyfriend of two years last night due to his months of lies about a friend he has that happens to be a woman. he told me at first that she was calling for his friends. months went by and she called again late at night during our time. he finally told me that his brother had given this woman his number after meeting him at his parent's house. he told me that she was just a friend and that they talk about sports and silly stuff. i told him that i did not want her caliing and she continued after him telling her how i felt.
the last straw was yesterday when i went over while he was at work since i've had a key for sometime and spotted his new cell phone on the table charging. i turned it on and there behold was her number and a record of their calls yesterday. i freaked out and called her. she hung upon me. went forward and called him at work and demanded he tell me everything. he told me she is just a good friend and that she always knew about me. i hung up and left in big letters on paper that "i hate you! you are a liar and it's over!!!" then i stole his phone and charger and procede to call the wireless company and change the voicemail password so i can access it and check it. nothing was on there, but i took the phone.
he called me when he got home in tears and asked where the phone was. i told him that i did not want to hear his voice ever. i later felt insane so i brought his phone and key back to him. he opened the door after 2 min. and i put them in his hand and he just closed the door obviously upset. i finally called him and told him we need to talk. it was the same story from him folled by telling me he is deeply hurt by my letter and loves me and always will and that he is so sorry and to just go on with my lfe and maybe one day i will come back because he will never stop loving me (we are engaged). do you think i was harsh and over reactd?

Well...you may have overreacted, but maybe not. Has he ever cheated on you, or done things that make you think he may have strayed? If yes, you might have not overreacted. But, if this is the first instance of anything amiss, you may have been a little over the top.
Who is this girl? Does she live in your town? Does she have a boyfriend? Have you met her? Did your boyfriend and her used to date?
NIYA 28
I THINK YOUR OVER REACTING...I THINK HIS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH AND IF THIS GIRL IS ANOTHER GF TOO...SHE WILL TELL YOU ON THE SPOT WHEN YOU CALLED HER...I DONT THING SHE WILL HIDE THAT...ESP IF SHE KNOWS THAT THE TIME FOR HER TO TALK SH...T ABOUT THE GUY JUST TO BE WITH HIM AND FOR YOU TO LEAVE...GET MY POINT!!!! GOOD LUCK~
First, im sorry to hear youre going through this. Honestly, if there was nothing going on he wouldn't have to lie to begin with. That is shady behavior. Especially if you say that she demanded that he tell you everything. If it was so innocent, what was there to tell?
I think at the point, he sunk himself too deep into a hole. If he ever wants you back, he'll have to do whatever he needs to get you back, even if that means he has to discontinue the friendship. For god's sake, it's not like she was his long time friend or best friend, its just some person he's known for 2 months, so in my opinion, it's not a huge sacrifice for him if that means his fiance would come back to him.
You need to evaluate exactly in what condition you would take him back and stick to it. And if you get back with him, it will take time to work through some trust issues...
Hope this helps and good luck!
-enkie