I need some advice about my situation
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| Wed, 07-28-2004 - 6:01am |
Well here’s my story. I am 24 and have been with my bf for 6.5 years. Four years ago we moved away from out family and friends for his career and during this time I think our relationship has deteriorated. I have never fully settled in at our new home and he had settled here within the first month.
Anyway 4 years down the track we both still love each other so much but honestly I know that things aren’t working anymore. We are constantly fighting and I think there are issues with us both wanting different things, etc. I guess in a nutshell we have probably just grown apart.
I am pretty inexperienced with love and breakups etc. and he has been my whole world for 6.5 years, so even though I know deep down that breaking up is the right thing to do how do I find the strength to walk away from someone who I still love? Have you guys ever been through something similar and could share any advice with me?
Also if / when we do break up I would be moving back to my hometown because that is where my closest friends still live. I will probably have to rent a place on my own somewhere and am totally scared about being on my own. I don’t even remember how it feels!
Thanks in advance for your responses...

I am in a similar situation although your living situation complicates it a little more. I am 23 and have been with my bf for 4.5 years. We lived together for the last two years of college and we are now back home living separately. We broke up officially on Sunday because even though we still love each other very much, he became unhappy (i still dont know what happened). So i feel like I am kind of on the other side of this situation. All I can say is that if you feel unhappy then you have to do what is best for you. If he loves you he will understand that. I did. I am the one who had to finally do the dirty work and break it off because I dont think he had the heart to do it completely. I told him that he needs to figure out what he needs/wants before our relationship can go any further. I think maybe you need to figure out your needs and wants as well because if you continue being unhappy you are doing a disservice to yourself as well as your BF. As for being alone I definitely understand you there. Its a scary thing to some people includng me. At least you will be back where your friends and family are and maybe you can find a friend to room with so it wont be so bad. Bottom line, if you feel unhappy, or disconnected from your relationship you have to do something about it. Its only fair to you and to your BF. Try to be as open with him as possible about your feelings because that for me is the most frustrating thing about my situation. I didnt know what was going on becuase he shut me out and wouldnt talk to me about it much. You are still young and there is still time so do what you have to do in order to be happy and maybe someday down the line you will find eachother again and be able to make it work. Who knows, right? Good luck and keep us/me posted.