I need strength to go on....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
I need strength to go on....
4
Thu, 11-22-2007 - 7:49pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 12:04pm

I feel so badly for you about what you've been going through. Especially when it's so not necessary.

A few cliches for you that would serve you exceptionally well, I think:

!. We each people how to treat us. He's surprised you haven't thrown his things out on the driveway. Frankly, so am I becuase he deserves to have his crap thrown out for the world to see. The reason you haven't done that, I think, is becuase your'e afraid if you do that, well, "he might never come back." That would actually be a blessing, not a curse, and you have to start thinking about it that way so you get your backbone again. It's hard to respect someone who doesn't respect themselves.

2. Ignoring something doesn't make it go away. When people say, "We *never* fight," that starts sending flags a-wavin and signals a-blarin for me, why? Because normal people argue. People who've been together in a real fashion for more than say, several months, argue. People with ideas and opinions of their own, disagree and discuss. Arguing is not screaming, it's not yelling, it's just a differnce of opinion, and it's ok to have that and definitely normal and healthy to express that. Necessary sometimes, because there is no way on God's green earth two poeple can totally and wholeheartedly agree 100% of the time and it not cause resentment. Someone's getting gypped.

Quick intervention for you and DO this this weekend, I'm not kidding: GET the book, Relationship Rescue by Phillip c. McGraw. Read it and do the short exercises in it. It will teach you more about yourself than anything else. THEN go talk to a counselor.

Good luck,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2006
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 2:00pm

Sorry to hear about your situation, but this great article can help:

Getting Over A Break Up Or Divorce: How To Heal
http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice-getting-over-a-breakup.html

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 9:44pm

thank you, I read the article.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2007
Sat, 11-24-2007 - 9:48pm

Thanks for your response, I googled the book and read a couple pages online, I will be ordering it!!