i need your opinion
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 02-27-2007 - 8:15pm |
i had filed it under the wrong discussion
well my ex boyfriend and i broke up 2 weeks ago. i live in orlando and he lives in Miami (which is my home town). we broke up over the phone and i had planned (before the break up) to go home that following weekend. after the break up i decided it was not a good idea to go home and see him. we had planned to exchange eachothers stuff that same weekend. he called me that thursday to ask when i was comming and i told him i wasnt. he asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine. i avoided contact with him because it was hard. the following day he called my bestfriend to ask her a question and eventually brought me up asking how i was and why i wasnt commming down. my best friend told him i was fine but i just didnt have a reason to go home anymore. that monday night he called me at like 3am he sounded drunk and asked me why i didnt go down and i explained to him that it was hard for me that we had just broken up and i didnt think it was good for me. he asked me if we were okay and i said we were fine that i didnt hate him and he told me he still wanted to be able to see me and i said thats fine and i told him id try to come down the following weekend. i ended up going home on thursday and i saw him. he hugged me and told me hed missed me. he told me hed always love me and he would do anything for me and i just cried in his arms. we sort of hooked up but didnt have sex because i had a doctors appointment the following day. he still held me. he caressed my body and it was as if he was tryin to memorize what i looked like naked. after about 3 hours i left his house and went home. i cried a lot but i was fine. the next day i felt like i needed to see him just to see how he acted with me. i had forgotten to give him some things and so i used that as an excuse. i went over and we hung out for a bit. this time it was more as friends. then i realized how bad i wanted to be intimate with him foreal this time at least take advantage of it for the last time. i told him and we went into his bedroom and as it was happening i began to realize how dumb i had been. i began realizing how much i really didnt want to be with him. that i loved him but we werent right for eachother. i went home and i was fine. i felt like i had gotten closure in a way. on saturday i felt fine but suddenly got upset and started crying wondering if he cared and i messed up and called him crying. he was about to go out to eat with his friends so i told him id call him later. i was depressed all day wondering if he cared. finally i went out with my bestfriend at night time and had a pretty good time. at about 3am right when i had gotten into bed he calls me. he asked me why i had called and i was honest. he asked me why i thought he didnt care and then asked me if i wanted to go over and sleep with him. i went over and he was pretty drunk but not beligerant. he hugged me and told me he loved me so much. he told me he missed me. we had sex we layed together. he held me. when i got to his house though i made it clear that i was sad but i knew we shouldnt be together. i let him know i loved him and missed him too. the next day i woke up pretty early and tried to leave but he didnt let me. he kept asking me to stay. i didnt end up leaving his bed until like 1pm. later that day i started thinking and i knew i didnt hate him and i didnt want to hate him so we needed to stop doing what we were doing. i went over later to talk to him and again hung out more like friends and then when we went into his room we began talking and i told him that we couldnt go past this weekend the way we were because eventually id get hurt. he agreed. i slept over that night. he wasnt verbally affectionate but he was physically just as affectionate as he had been the previous nights. i left early monday morning because i felt akward because it was finally over. he tried to keep me in bed a little longer but i left.
its over and im fine with it. i feel better. i do miss him but its fine. i know its for the best. i've been depressed for a while and im taking anti depressants so i dont know if maybe its the antidepressants that make me feel better but i've been doing good. i just i guess wanted an opinion...an outside opinion on his actions this weekend. i know guys are different and although they may care they dont always show it. they have different ways of coping with things and always maintain themselves busy... i just dont know what to think.

Hi hoplessromantic and welcome to the board.
I think everything you are feeling is normal.