I read the book, but now...
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I read the book, but now...
| Thu, 06-14-2007 - 6:12am |
I just finished reading "He's Just Not That Into You" on Tuesday. And everything in that book finally sank in. The man I've been seeing for the past year and a half steadily is just not that into me. But now that I'm starting to see things for what they are in his eyes, how do I deal with the rejection and loneliness and abandonment that I feel?
I've been so happy to be there for him and be with him--but it was always on his terms. I always thought about how I wanted to make him happy; about what good things I could do for him, because I felt he deserved them. The book, while it was just what I finally needed to see what is really going on, has opened up so many hard, heavy, bone crushing feelings right now. I put my heart and soul into this relationship, but I finally see the messages he's sending to me. He's not calling as frequently, he's not making any plans with me. He's going through an extremely tough situation right now, but I get his message loud and clear. He's been sending these messages for a long time before his situation started, although not as strongly.
I just feel like I have noone in my corner now, since he's not that into me. I always thought he was my best friend. He's been mine. He celebrated his birthday last weekend without me. I had to drop his present off on his doorstep. Now that reality has sunk in, I don't know how to deal with it. He's all I can think about.
Add to all this, my daughter has chosen to live with her father, has been for the past 2 years, and I still haven't completely accepted that. I feel rejected on all sides and just would love some advice about how to get through this. Every waking moment I think about how he doesn't want to be with me, and my daughter doesn't want to be with me. It's wearing me down and leaving me raw and dead inside.
I've been so happy to be there for him and be with him--but it was always on his terms. I always thought about how I wanted to make him happy; about what good things I could do for him, because I felt he deserved them. The book, while it was just what I finally needed to see what is really going on, has opened up so many hard, heavy, bone crushing feelings right now. I put my heart and soul into this relationship, but I finally see the messages he's sending to me. He's not calling as frequently, he's not making any plans with me. He's going through an extremely tough situation right now, but I get his message loud and clear. He's been sending these messages for a long time before his situation started, although not as strongly.
I just feel like I have noone in my corner now, since he's not that into me. I always thought he was my best friend. He's been mine. He celebrated his birthday last weekend without me. I had to drop his present off on his doorstep. Now that reality has sunk in, I don't know how to deal with it. He's all I can think about.
Add to all this, my daughter has chosen to live with her father, has been for the past 2 years, and I still haven't completely accepted that. I feel rejected on all sides and just would love some advice about how to get through this. Every waking moment I think about how he doesn't want to be with me, and my daughter doesn't want to be with me. It's wearing me down and leaving me raw and dead inside.

Welcome to the board wendymelis,
Remember YOU are NOT LESS THAN because of his actions, behavior, decisions, choices or words.
I am so sorry you are going through this but you did read a fantastic book and yes, it does open a person's eye in regards to being with someone who really doesn't want to be with you. I really would think about dumping this guy before you endure more heartbreak. I can guarantee you this, things will only get worse before they get better. I have been in your shoes and sometimes you just have to let go no matter how painful it is. In regards to your daughter, I would somehow, someway, see your child as much as possible. The girl needs her mother and I would concentrate on getting that relationship intact. I am single mother and my daughter is my #1 priorty and noone or nothing comes before her. I say dump the guy and get your daughter back in your life.
Good luck!!!
It seems like every day, even every hour, brings a completely new set of feelings and thoughts about what's going on. My daughter still comes over once a week, she calls whenever she needs a ride or money (isn't that always the way!) and she knows she is always welcome to come over as often as she wants. I attend all school functions, field hockey games, etc. I am defintely focusing on our relationship and trying to move past the feelings of rejection that I guess have been deep seeded.
As far as the (boy)friend, I just don't know what to think. I am leaning towards thinking that time away is the best thing for me to get my head back and heal myself up. I've already, without even realizing it, started thinking about things I want to do this summer. I am constantly replaying every second of our relationship, wondering what I did wrong, said wrong, whatever. I'm going to need a lot of time to get my head straightened out, but I guess at least I don't feel as low as I did yesterday.
One day at a time. I'll always be in love with him, but maybe this relationship has played itself out. I have to start to reprogram my ways of thinking now and focus on how to make me happy and make sure my daughter has a good role model for a mom.
Everything happens for a reason
Everything happens for a reason
Oh, enjoy the beach, I wanna go....
We are having beautiful weather and I'm stuck at work. LOL
Everything happens for a reason