i really need advice...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
i really need advice...
2
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 6:18pm
My very first serious relationship has just ended recently. I've been with Jon for almost a year and a half, and he was my first love. I was so in love with him, I seriously thought we would get married some day. I'm not an emotional wreck anymore, but I'm still having a difficult time at this point. I'll go five days or so and be fine, and then I'll relapse and have one or two depressing days. I just want to move on with my life, but I only have one problem: I feel like I'll never find someone again. How can i move on with my life if i feel like i'll always be alone? I'm only 18, and it feels like I'm past my prime. How do I start to gain confidence in myself again? How do I move on? He was such a huge part of my life that i can't imagine forgetting him, despite the fact that that's what everyone "recommends." i still care about him, and i always will. i just want to move on, but all the memories i have with him are holding me back. i'll remember a certain day, or i'll see a happy couple, and i feel so alone and unwanted. does anybody have any advice whatsoever? i'd really appreciate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 7:26pm
Girl, you are only 18. You haven't even lived 1/2 of your life yet! I know things seem real gloomy and hopeless right now, but you've got so much ahead of you at such a young age. You will find that guy one day that will waltz right into your life and make you wonder what you were thinking that you wouldn't find someone again. Right now everything will seem glum for a while. You've invested a lot of your emotions into your relationship and it is hard just to cut the ties and move on. It won't be easy by any stretch but you will get through it. What you are feeling is perfectly natural. You may not want to go out for a while, but don't just mope around either, find constructive ways of expressing what you are feeling, a journal is a great thing to start if you don't have one already. You've got support here as you encounter the different stages and all the ups and downs. Just remember to take care of yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 10:28pm
Welcome to the board!! I'm so sorry you're going through all this pain but it will pass, in time. Jon was your 1st love so it's normal to feel the way you do....including the fear of never finding anyone again....but trust me---you will. Just give it some time. I would suggest no contact with him, if possible and to just hang out with friends and do things that make you happy normally....the best thing you can do now is....stay busy!!! Good luck and keep us posted and remember, we're always here if you need us.
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