I really need help bad
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I really need help bad
| Mon, 09-13-2004 - 10:39am |
Hi everyone. My name is jacki, i'm 28 from New York. I was reading through some of the posts and I can identify with some of you and i'm hoping to get some help and advice through using this message board. My most recent situation is that I made the mistake of dating a 20 year old. I didn't know he was 20 when we met, but by the time I found out, I didn't care, we got along so well and I liked him so much. I'll try to make a very long story short. I met adam last november. He worked with my best friend and I met him when I went up to visit her one day. We were inseperable from day one. We seemed to have alot in common, both jets fans, etc. our first date was even a jets game! Anyway, adam seemed to have alot of emotional problems, and in month 2 he broke up with me, saying his life was crumbling, he got kicked out of his house, he hated his job, etc. I was devastated. One month later, he came back and said he knew he made a mistake, that his head was on straight now, he had alot of time to think, etc. He said alot of hopeful things and he was always very honest with me, even when it hurt, so I trusted him and went back to him. Well, everything was good until recently when things started to take the same turn. He started getting angry all the time and snapping at everything and everyone around him. He was always tired, etc. We were planning for me to go with him on his annual family trip to cape cod this year for my birthday (august 31). The trip had been planned for 4 months, and lately things had really gone south. He broke up with me 4 days before we were supposed to leave and 5 days before my birthday. I couldn't believe it, I was absolutely devastated. I spoke to him when he came back (i called him) and he said he felt totally guilty the whole time. He said he can't talk to me now without feeling guilty. He also said though that his heart isn't in it anymore, he doesn't have any motivation for anything anymore, he doesn't feel the same way, he knows it isn't going to work for us, there's personality differences (which he never really thoroughly explained because "he couldn't", and he just said he didn't want to be in it half-heartedly anymore because it wasn't fair to me and he "didn't want to hurt me anymore"... well, i'm absolutely devastated now. I started counseling because i'm in this horrible depression, I don't want to get out of bed or leave the house, I don't have many friends to call, I just feel like this empty feeling is never going to go away and neither will the pain. I don't know what to do, and I always have this overwhelming feeling that I want to call him. Does anyone have any advice or in the same situation? I really need some help here. Please feel free to email me at jetsgirl010@aol.com. Thanks
Jacki

Don't feel alone. Most of us have been there. The firts days after our ex dump us feels horrible, it is like our world was falling apart. However be sure that it is a matter of time until you will feel better.
That guy was very immature and he is doing what any guy at his age would do. He cannot settle down or act as an adult, he is not ready for the sort of relationship you would like to have. So, any contact with him would make things worse for you.
Cry, it helps to release the pain. Write down your feelings, talk to people or post here whatever is in your head. He is not an incredible guy who deserves your suffering.
Iliana