i REALLY need some advice before tonight
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i REALLY need some advice before tonight
| Mon, 05-07-2007 - 3:48pm |
Ok, so my ex is my roommate. He's at a point where he is being friendly but we are no longer friends. Anyway, a mutual friend is having a play. He is going tonight and asked if i am going to go. I was going to go, the friend sent me an invitation. I told my roommate that I really wanted to but that we weren't really talking INSIDE the house and it would be wierd for me to have everyone see that OUTSIDE of the house. He said that he wouldn't give me the cold shoulder and that no one would know. But what if he's friendly with all of our other aquaintance and I'm standing there by myself (since I'm not invited to ride with him). I feel like if I don't go he's going to be wierd with me at home because I'm insecure and he hates that about me. But if I do go I'm going to feel insecure because I'm terrified of showing up by myself and he won't even be sitting by me.
Anyone else had the experience where you're closer with someone than anyone else and all of a sudden you're the farthest away. It sucks! Anyway to make matters worse I went out with a friend of mine last night and her boyfriend shows up and buys us A LOT to drink. When I got home I was plastered and went into his room and long story short we had sex. This morning he told me that he didn't want to do that again. I feel so ugly and fat. I lost about 90 and then between birth control and the stress of all of this I've gained ten. Everyone tells me that I don't look fat and my jeans fit the same but I feel huge again. I don't want to go tonight and be the fat girl around all of the other trendy skinny girls in that crowd. I'm so stressed out right now, all I want to do is go to sleep. I'm thinking I should just skip it and tell my roommate that I got held up at school or that I didn't feel good. I mean I don't think he really wants me there anyway. I'm worried that his friends will meet him at the house first, I definitely think I should just skip it because if I go I'd have to give an excuse for not riding with them, then for showing up by myself. If I just don't go I can just give one, I'm sick. Sound good? What would you do?
Anyone else had the experience where you're closer with someone than anyone else and all of a sudden you're the farthest away. It sucks! Anyway to make matters worse I went out with a friend of mine last night and her boyfriend shows up and buys us A LOT to drink. When I got home I was plastered and went into his room and long story short we had sex. This morning he told me that he didn't want to do that again. I feel so ugly and fat. I lost about 90 and then between birth control and the stress of all of this I've gained ten. Everyone tells me that I don't look fat and my jeans fit the same but I feel huge again. I don't want to go tonight and be the fat girl around all of the other trendy skinny girls in that crowd. I'm so stressed out right now, all I want to do is go to sleep. I'm thinking I should just skip it and tell my roommate that I got held up at school or that I didn't feel good. I mean I don't think he really wants me there anyway. I'm worried that his friends will meet him at the house first, I definitely think I should just skip it because if I go I'd have to give an excuse for not riding with them, then for showing up by myself. If I just don't go I can just give one, I'm sick. Sound good? What would you do?

Ok, first things first....no more sex. None. Even drunk sex, not helping. He's using you for sex and making you feel bad about it. That isn't your issue today so....
I think you should go to the play because A) your friend invited you, not you on the stipulation that you come with him, you. and B) if you stay at home wallowing your ex will think he's really gotten one over on you.
Can you invite another friend to go with you? Even if the other friend isn't friends with the friend in the play? You mentioned going out with a friend and her boyfriend, can you ask her to come along? If you and her (or someone else) can get together you can go out to eat or for drinks first and then to the play. this way if someone asks you can say you and her were hanging out first and that's why you didn't show up with him. You don't show up alone and it doesn't look weird to entice a bunch of questions you aren't ready to answer. If you can't get anyone to go with you leave about an hour or more before the play and show up at the play only a few minutes before it starts because you had "some errands to run". You can say you had to return something at the mall, pay a bill, pick up your dry cleaning, whatever. Just have a story in place in case the questions come.