I REALLY NEED YOUR ADVICE RE: THIS MAN!!
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| Fri, 03-16-2007 - 12:45pm |
I am looking for as many responses as I can possibly get. I need to know if this man could have actually been telling me the truth about how he felt about me!!!
I need your "HELP/ADVICE" in deciding how to "HANDLE/GET OVER" my recent separation with this guy.
HERE IS THE STORY:
Back in September/06, this man who works in the same building as I do, approaced me with a note wanting to get to know me. Apparently, he had been eyeing me for some time and was very attracted to me...he said from the first time he saw me. I responded by saying that I was seeing someone, but said that we could be friends. He said, "Lucky Guy, and that he doesn't give up easily." For a while after that we would run into each other and chat....he was still very interested in me. In November/06, he wrote me a letter and it was on my desk when I got to work. He told me how happy he was to see me and that I was the most GEORGEOUS PERSON, and that he hasn't felt so strongly towards someone in many years, and that he thinks of me often; and is happy seeing me if only by chance. He would always say, "Hello Beautiful, and Hello There."
Well, I have to say, he warmed my heart and I started to see him for lunch at the Food Court and we would talk alot by phone. Nothing much materialized with that guy that I was seeing....we were more like friends.
Anyway, this man and I kept seeing each other; but it was mainly at the Food Court....we actually went out once for supper. Certain things that he said to me, though, started to make me suspicicous that he was hiding something from me. I continued spending time with him, and just before Christmas I called him on something and got him to tell me the truth. He did admit that he has a common-law partner that he was living with. He said that when he approached me, they were going their separate ways...she was getting an apartment in the city....he thought he was free. When her mother found out, she said if you leave my daughter, I will see you in the poor house...so her daughter stayed put in his home. He was shocked that I didn't tell him to get lost, and I continued spending time with him at work only, and talking to him by phone.
He felt there was nothing wrong with us going out together as, according to him, their relationship was over for months, and they were sharing his home only until he found a way out financially. He was trying to find a way where he could afford a home of his own, as well as give her half of what she was entitled to. He kept saying I am working on it, I am working on it. He told me that they don't sleep together and that they have separate rooms in different areas of the house. He told me that he thought she would be gone by now, and that he would like it if she came to him and told him that she found someone else. That would make HIS SITUATION a whole lot easier.
But just last week when we were discussing everything, he saw the stress that I was under in regards to the "Situation" he was dealing with and felt it best if we keep a low profile (as too many people were finding out and couldn't risk her finding out, especially where he is SO financially stuck and trying to get out without losing too much) and stay away from each other. He said it was best for me, as I was also under stress in dealing with my family's objections with trying to sneak around and see him. THIS MAN AND I NEVER SLEPT TOGETHER!!!
He told me that this isn't easy for him and he will miss me as well. He told me that he does truly love me and no matter what happens he always will. Since we got together he has written me two letters and the cards that he has given me have poems on them that he has written. He told me that he doesn't write letters like that easily. I do believe that he does love me.
He told me that we shouldn't plan to meet each other at work or call each other, but if we do see each other we will talk and see how the other is doing. He finds it too hard to be JUST FRIENDS with me as he wants to be with me all the time.
I have seen him once already and spoke to him by phone, and each time he was as nice as ever, reminding me how much he loves me and that he is miserable as well. But circumstances on his end and on my end are preventing us from being together. He said it is not as if his heart was going in two different directions. He didn't actually dump me, but still doesn't know if we will be together again. HE DID NOT CHOOSE HIS COMMON-LAW PARTNER OVER ME.....HE WOULD STILL LOVE FOR HER TO FIND ANOTHER MAN AND MOVE OUT!!!
I do love him and miss him alot as well. It is hard not seeing him on a regular basis, as there are so many memories of the time we spent together in this building.
What kind of advice can you give me in dealing with not being able to seen him anymore and totally giving up on him. And also, what is your opinion on this man, and do you really believe that he was sincere and true all along.
I would appreciate any advice/help that anybody can give me.
Thank you!!!
ALMOZA

Here's what I say to any and all guys who want to approach me while they're still with someone else, "situation" or not:
Hi tigress2007,
Well, he could feel about you the way he says he does BUT he's UNAVAILABLE as long as he is involved with someone else, no matter what the legal status is, or where he is in the process.
::HE DID NOT CHOOSE HIS COMMON-LAW PARTNER (CLP) OVER ME.....HE WOULD STILL LOVE FOR HER TO FIND ANOTHER MAN AND MOVE OUT!!!
This is what married men say when they are pursuing another.