I really want it to be over........

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
I really want it to be over........
2
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 11:42am

Hi everyone.... this is the first time i've ever been on here so please bare with me for a bit :)

Basically- i just broke things off with my BF today. To make a year and half worth of stories short ... we were a very on again off again couple. We had our fights all the time over stupid little issues... we'd break up -maybe because it seemed like the simplest thing to do... and then we'd get back together. We've done this sooo many times that i've lost count completely. I decided today that I've had it up to here. The main thing is that I really love him... but I just don't get the vibe that he loves me as much. He thinks he does... but if he did- i think that things would be different. He can go 2 or 3 days without any contact with me. He isn't cheating... he just thinks its ok even though he knows that i like to hear from him.

My main thing right now is breaking the cycle. This is it... i can't let us get back together. We've done it too many times and i'm sick of getting hurt.

I'm not sure exactly why i'm on this message board. I guess i just want others opinions about things.... like how can i get over this... what can I do to move on.... i just don't know anymore. All I know is that we shouldn't be together... not now at least.

Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 4:11pm
I totally understand. I have been like that with my last two BF's. The current one, I am thinking of moving out, but the last one- OH MY GOD!! Finally I told him we had to go to a therapist because we needed to either stay together and work through out problems or break up for good. We broke up for good, but at least the cycle stopped. The current one, we have done the same thing, which is why I am hesitant to move out. I don't want to go through all that hassle and then get back together. My therapist also suggested that I keep a list of things I like about them and things I don't like. When the don't like column gets larger than the other-well that's usually when you realize-why am I staying. I also learned to keep a journal, because I forgive and forget-the journal makes me remember the crap and when they come back (they always do) you can read the journal to remember why you don't want to be with them. I wish you luck and send you hugs because I know that this is difficult. Just know that you will be fine either way and sometimes you can do without all the drama.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 6:41pm
Do no contact-at all. It will break the cycle. You HAVE to stick to it though. Also, read books, visit this board and talk to someone if you need to. I have been in your shoes for 5 and a half years and finally let go almost a month ago (26 days). No contact will do absolute wonders but you HAVE HAVE HAVE to do it 100 percent.