i saw him AGAIN!! please read
Find a Conversation
i saw him AGAIN!! please read
| Thu, 12-08-2005 - 9:26am |
okay, well the drawback to breaking up with someone who lives right near you is you having to run into them on occassion. i posted the other day about me ducking into a bank and he followed me in to talk and ask if i didn't want to talk to him. well last night i ran to the store at 10:30 pm and i guess he had a similar idea, so i am walking and i see him on the corner and i didn;t know what to do. i have been changing my routine, going to different stores and avoiding him like the plague but i thought i would be safe at that hour on a wednesday night. anyway, he is standing on the corner and i walk by and look the other way like i was looking in a window and didn't notice, so he whistles to get my attention. he is standing there and i turn around. i give him a HUGE smile and i said as i was still walking "it's SO cold out isn't it?" with my smile and i kept walking. i was nice and brief. i had to keep reminding myself, if he wanted to talk to me he knows how to get in touch, which he hasn't so i can't feel bad for not stopping everytime he tries to talk to me now. it felt kind of empowering and oddly wasn't a set back. the funny thing is, he is so so macho, and so respectful of peoples space that he is not the type to EVER say, why do you keep ducking me, or walking by when i try to talk to you. well the truth is, i don't want to be with someone who can't express themselves anyway. thanks for the vent

i have been changing my routine, going to different stores and avoiding him like the plague
Okay, so he has no clue that you've been doing all this thought/effort/work regarding him - so how he can "care" or concern himself with this aspect of your requirements to satisfy your needs and deal with your feelings?
i had to keep reminding myself, if he wanted to talk to me he knows how to get in touch, which he hasn't so i can't feel bad for not stopping everytime he tries to talk to me now
It's YOU that believes you must "stop" instead of say hello and pass on - as you did this evening. He's being polite in saying hello........and he's got the message at the bank that you're insecure and deaing with your "feelings" by avoidance of anything that makes you "feel" bad about the fact the relationship no longer exists.
the funny thing is, he is so so macho, and so respectful of peoples space that he is not the type to EVER say, why do you keep ducking me, or walking by when i try to talk to you
HE knows why - you're insecure....he doesn't want to talk to you if you don't want to talk to him if it causes you "pain".....he's going to be polite becuase that's how he is -but if you keep walking as you did tonight - youdon't "hurt' him either.
Put it this way - he's never been how he is because of/regard/about/in spite of/despite you...he's been how he is because that's how he is with everybody - it's his standard.
Just like you're the same way with everybody - it's your standard.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Good for you. The only thing I would suggest is that you not pretend you don't see him next time, just say hi, how are you and keep going.
Re the whole if he wanted to talk to me he would thing...you DO realize that him doing so would set you back, right, and that you should put barriers in place to prevent that (the whole pro-active thing I've been talking about)?
Sheri
hey sheri
I pretended i didn't see him to avoid having to speak with him, but once he called me, i was very nice, said hi and commented about the weather and kept walking so there wasn't even time for any further discussion.
i am still a work in progress but yes i do realize that talking to him would be a set back and thats why i didn't stop and talk. we were the only two on the street, it was night time. i could have stopped and talked, etc, but i cut it off at the knees. thats a good step i think. the old me would have loved to get that opportunity.
to the previous poster who responded he doesn't know i have gone to great lengths to avoid him, thats right, he probably does not know. i am doing that for me.
Ok, you're misunderstanding my point. Rather than igoring him when you see him, just say hi, how are you (like you ended up doing once he got your attention) and keep going. There was no need for the first part (you ignoring him)...it just makes you look a little silly ;-) and there's no need for that!
But yes (and I said this in my last post), good job on not stopping to talk.
Sheri