I searched for him all lunchtime

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
I searched for him all lunchtime
10
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:05am

OMG i am definately losing my mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 2:45am

I am so sorry about your breakup.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 2:50am
I was also thinking, maybe figure out when your worst times of day are... if you always
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 7:23am

While reading your post, I thought of something my yoga teacher read to me during the rest period of class. It helps me when I am mentally unfocused, fantasizing over maybes and what ifs, or when I have "slipped". It gives be strength to begin again and, most of all, it reminds me that "the present is the place where love lives", not the past, not in our fantasies of the future. True love has to be based on what is now.

I don't know the author, and I have changed a few of the words from yoga practice words to life words.

Hang in there.

--------

Throughout our daily lives, our mind wanders, we become distracted, we feel fatigued, and then we remember and we begin again. We come into the now. We feel and hear our breathing, we feel the air on our skin, our attention opens to encompass the experience of our entire body, we see what we are looking at, we are conscious of our heartbeat slowing, we are practicing asana. Then our mind wanders, we fatigue, we remember, and we begin again.

Over time we come to associate a distracted mind with fatigue, anger, desire, resentment, and sorrow. We come to see the present as a refuge from the pain of our imaginations. We come to see that the present is a place where love lives. We develop the habit of a restful, focused mind. At the end of our day we take this restful mind to a deeper level. In shavasana we practice profound stillness. Using the same patient willingness to begin again, we deepen our ability to rest. We do not differentiate between rest and work, we are still in action, alert in rest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 10:12am

As I read your msg. I couldn't stop thinking of how I once did that with a long long long time ago ex and well at the end it did me no good (I kept moving backwards instead of going forwards). I too expected that he would change his mind but he never did.


Just recently (last week) my ex (not the one from the long time ago, but a new one) broke up with me and believe me I had the options to do exactly what I once did, which is what you are doing now, but instead of doing that I chose another path. These past couple of days I have embarked on a new journey (to get happy and seek it and fix all my obstacles)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 10:54am

just some thoughts...


did he know you were looking for him? if not, it was painful for you but he didn't have to know that. also, you told him not to come over, which was good. meaning: no break-up sex. that was a good move.


i know you feel all your emotions are transparent & you might be all over the place, but he seems sweet about it. at least he's not ignoring you...


i have had the same experience with lack of control with this last guy i dated

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 11:19am

I just read through all of these posts and they are helping me from walking downstairs (my ex works in the same office) and talking to my ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 12:34pm

Hi Tina,


Ok, you had a bad day....LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2006
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 2:32pm

you did the right thing to leave.


don't worry about how to stop obsessing right now, just focus on controlling your behavior. that's the first step. your mind will eventually follow your actions.



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Thu, 10-25-2007 - 3:01pm

To all having a hard time with NC, I'm so sorry, especially working together! I feel fortunate that I dodged that bullet (my ex and I worked together for 5 years but he moved out of state for a new job). I've had no contact and it hurts to wonder if he still cares, but it has been SO much easier not having any contact at all. I feel sad, but steady sad. No emotional rollercoaster.


I hope you all can resolve the NC thing. I really, really does help the moving forward process. Do whatever you can to avoid them, go through the pain (it sucks, i know) and start living your life.


My thoughts are with you!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:13pm

Hey, I just had my last day of work at my job... my ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and I've been working for a member of his family, at his parents' home.