i still cant get over him!!!!
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i still cant get over him!!!!
| Wed, 08-24-2005 - 2:26am |
i dont know if any of u rememebr me but i am 19 years old and i got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship with my first love about 4 or 5 months ago. im still hurting! i cant get over him! and i guess im not allowing myself to, but its just so hard. i still love him very much but i am angry for the things he did, as well as the things i did. right now, we talk sometimes, but its usually arguing, so in a way, hes making it easier for me to get over him, but i just cant. also, he is kinda with someone right now who he claims is only his friend and he doenst want to make any decisions right now so hes not going out with her. but they spend pretty much everyday wiht eachother and hes introduced her to his dad and stuff. (when he moved out of our apartment he moved back in with his dad). this upsets me tremendoulsy because i dont get how i am so easy to get over like that! i know hes probably kinda using her as a replacement for me (which also makes me mad) so he can get over me, but it still hurts so bad. i know i should be out there dating and all but im afraid in a way. its hard for me to trust ppl since i have been thru such a heartbreak. its so bad that i sometimes have panic attacks at night when i think about all we shared and how now its gone. and that makes me angry. so i guess i freak out. i need some advice. i cant afford a therapist and i dunno how to get out there and date again. i was with this guy for my whole 4 years of high school so i didnt get to experience that stuff. can anyone help?

Hi,
I can totally feel your pain because I was in a similar situation before. I dated a guy for 4 years (all through highschool.) When I was 19, he broke up with me. He was also my everything. He was my first kiss, my first bf, my first sex. I couldn't accept the fact that we were over. I couldn't imagine myself without him. I started drinking a lot. I had fast heart beats, so I was admitted to the hospital and the doctor prescribed me calming pills. And one day, I took the the whole jar of pills. I almost died. I had to stay for three days in the hospital and I was barely conscious.
Today, I am 22 and I am completely over him. And guess what, I was able to fall in love again and get my heart broken again.
All I am trying to say here is that you are going to be Ok; however, you cannot do it while you are still in contact with him. He is not respecting you. Do you think you deserve the way he is treating you?
I know it is so hard. Try to push yourself to feel better. If you don't workout, start to work out. When you wake up in the morning, even if you feel so down and you don't care about the way you look, try to put some make up on and dress up well.
And at night, if you need to cry don't stop yourself.
Be prepared because it is such a hard process but it can be done and I am a living proof.
Good Luck
I feel your pain and I wish I could make it better for you. Try to get closure with him. Talk to him one last time and make it clear that this is "goodbye".
If anything, I wish I could have that closure.
My ex and I were friends 3 years, dated 3 years. The month before he broke up with me, he had even asked my mom's permission to marry me.
About 3 months after the initial breakup he just stopped calling one day even though he said "I'll call you later". During the breakup we'd been trying to work out the problems we'd had and had talked of getting back together later in the year. 2 weeks before he stopped calling we had even gone to KY together to visit friends. 2 weeks after he mysteriously stopped calling me, through text he told me to "leave him alone". He wouldn't even answer the phone when I called him (I tried 1 week after he stopped calling to text him, no response. then I tried 2 weeks after he stopped calling and he wouldn't answer but did respond to text)
I know he already has a new girl, one with 2 kids as a matter of fact, so that's probably why he's acting the way he is. But you'd hope that someone who's been in your life for 6 years could at least tell you goodbye. Not just drop off the face of the earth. So try to get closure.
If I could just talk to him on the phone for 1 minute, 30 seconds even, just to tell him goodbye, then I could move on with my life. He's changed so much and become such a horrible person that I don't love him anymore. But it's hard to let go of all the anger and confusion and hurt when you didn't even get a goodbye...
Good luck! Big HUGS!