"I Still Love You Very Much."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
"I Still Love You Very Much."
2
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 9:56pm

"I still love you very much. Please remember that whatever happens."

WTF. You still love me but you need to take a break?

I mean I know our situation is slightly...twisted (as there's a third person in our relationship - the co-dependent roommate). But...why do guys do that?

This is the email I received after two days of NC. I've been standing by my word of NC. But he emailed that this morning and this evening a listing for an guest house and asked how I was - I am in the process of looking for a place to live. - Actually I'm not mad about the heads up, I emailed them and they immediately emailed me back so I might have a place by the end of the week if things go my way...but still!

I've been perfectly fine by myself these last few days - other than ranting here ofcourse. But I guess I just started to think.

Men (and women ofcourse) make a rash decision overnight it seems sometimes - his/ours happened while he was away for 2 1/2 weeks and deteroriated over that time. Went from bliss to blah in 15 days.

I'm not reading into it (much), I'm just wondering why the hell he sent it to me? Does he feel bad about things? Does he truly feel love for me (but is it in a in love with you way or a love you as a friend way)? Is he just starting to feel the burn of not having me in his life - even though it's been two days (plus the 2 1/2 weeks minus a night or two in between) - because before that we've spent every day with each other for a year straight when I moved in?

This sucks though. NC means NC. By either party. I was hoping / figuring that when I said 2 weeks, that would be enough. We'd get away from each other for those weeks then come back and talk about if we're going to give it a try immediately or take some more space. I figured this is how it'd go down but I think I'm figuring wrong.

I'll stand strong though. This was his decision and ultimately my choice. And I'm okay with agreeing to take a break. Since he suggested it first...why isn't he?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 8:42am

I'm sure he does love you...but it sounds like he may not be willing or capable of making the changes in his life that he needs to in order to have a healthy relationship with you.

You can love someone and still want or need to take a break if the relationship is having problems...love isn't enough and doesn't magically make everything better.

He probably just misses you. I wouldn't focus on the 'whys' so much as what IS (the situation and the reasons you are unhappy with it).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Wed, 03-23-2005 - 12:07pm

I like that. It actually helps. He's not willing (or capable) of making the changes in order to have a healthy relationship with me. If he was...then there wouldn't be a problem I 'pose.

Shrugs. What else can a girl do other than just move on. I won't wait for him. It'd be nice that one day in the future he decides that he does want to make these changes, but not going to hold my breath. I guess this chapter of our lives is over.

Well it took almost 7ish years to hook up the first time (we went on 2 dates, went our separate ways met again years later). Maybe in the next 7 years we'll be on the same page. lol. Man. This sucks.