i still want my cheating boyfriend, why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
i still want my cheating boyfriend, why?
3
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 11:46pm
i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and i just found out that he cheated on me for the first 6 months of our relationship and he has a 3 year old daughter that he never told me about. i am furious! but mostly hurt. i told him i wanna try and work things out but i dont trust him anymore. he doesent understand how i feel and doesent seem to have the patients to let me feel the pain. i just need time but he wants everything better now. he says hes sorry and he loves me. he wants me to stay with him but i dont know if i can. i love him so much and this is tearing me apart because im fighting with myself most of the time. my mind tells me hes not worth my tears and doesnt deserve a second chance. but my heart tells me not to let go. how do i stop thinking about all the wonderful times we had together? when i think of leaving him my heart hurts. this pain is so overwhelming. i dont know what to do. i miss the way we were before i knew. i thought he was the most wonderful man i had ever met, and now i dont know. when i look at him i see the same man i fell in love with, but for him to lie to me for so long i dont know who he is anymore, im so confused, if anyone has been through a similar situation or can offer some words of wisdom for me i would really apreciate it. th@nx =(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 1:15am

emotional22..

Pianoguy can't understand why you'd want to continue loving a man THAT YOU NO LONGER TRUST??

That's the same as eating a vegetable you know is healthy for you, but everytime you try and put some of that vegetable inside your mouth...YOU WANT TO THROW UP! SIMPLY BECAUSE, ITS TASTE DOESN'T AGREE WITH YOU!

False "security blankets" (aka RELATIONSHIPS that go sour) are often more meaningful to women...than looking at a 'genuine cheater' through tear-stained, bloodshot eyes!

You CAN find a loving and faithful boyfriend....assuming that you WANT TO?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2005
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 2:53am
you need more than just words of wisdom ..its called reality check..ask urself why do u think u still want a cheating rat who lied and dishonor ur values??unless u have major low self worth ..dont u think u deserve more? pick urself up and stand tall with dinity...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2003
Sat, 06-16-2007 - 9:44am

stay angry during this time....people say that anger is a BAD thing.. but I think it gives us strength when we cant find it within ourselves to have it.

Whenever you feel nostalgic or sad.. think of the other woman, or the lies he must have told you to see her...you'll see that it was for the best thing. My BF broke up with me last night and i am devastated.. but being angry helps because im really trying not to romanticize it all.. especially because he cheated on me last year and told me last night that he need to sleep with another woman because he needed to feel special and keep his comforts with me.

I am truly at a loss.. he and I work and live together at an artist colony all summer.. so this is a sticky situation for me...and a painful one.

stay strong.. write down your anger and go back to look at when you are sad.. I hope that it helps

MF