I think he is seeing someone else
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I think he is seeing someone else
| Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:52am |
To those of you who know my situation.... I wanted to update you all. I went out to a local bar this past Friday night with my brother and his girlfriend and I saw my Ex BF, which I knew he was going to be there. I was bummed out to see that he was there with another girl. I am not totally sure, but I think he just might be seeing her. Of course I am upset about it, still having feelings for him and all. Many of you have told me to stop contacting him and cut all the ties with him and I attempted that. We haven't spoke since last Thursday (Aug. 12th) night. At first, I didn't think he was going to come up to me and say 'Hi' when he did say 'Hi' to my brother, but he did. It does hurt. But the thing is that I am not sure when this girl came into the picture...because last week when we last spoke he was still telling me how much he still cared for me and that he wasn't dating anyone.
The way I could tell that he was 'with' this girl was that she was standing in front of him and he was holding onto her hip with his one hand. He is the type that is flirty to begin with, which I used to get annoyed at, but he also came up to me and did that. All I want to do is talk to him and find out the truth, but I think he is ignoring me. He asked me at the bar if I was ok and I thought for sure that he was going to call me when he got home that night, but he didn't. Why is it that after being in a long relationship for as long as we were that he can just move on quickly? Why am I still suffering so bad and why does it hurt so much to see him with another girl? It's so hard for me to not want to contact him....either via e-mail, text messaging, or talking to him. Although he has been the one who has intiated the contact with me. He can be misleading at times and sometimes I think he is getting pleasure at hurting my feelings even though he claims that he still wants to be friends. Well that's my latest update with everything.
The way I could tell that he was 'with' this girl was that she was standing in front of him and he was holding onto her hip with his one hand. He is the type that is flirty to begin with, which I used to get annoyed at, but he also came up to me and did that. All I want to do is talk to him and find out the truth, but I think he is ignoring me. He asked me at the bar if I was ok and I thought for sure that he was going to call me when he got home that night, but he didn't. Why is it that after being in a long relationship for as long as we were that he can just move on quickly? Why am I still suffering so bad and why does it hurt so much to see him with another girl? It's so hard for me to not want to contact him....either via e-mail, text messaging, or talking to him. Although he has been the one who has intiated the contact with me. He can be misleading at times and sometimes I think he is getting pleasure at hurting my feelings even though he claims that he still wants to be friends. Well that's my latest update with everything.
NClarkson

I will be encoutering a similiar situation on Saturday. A couple of my friends want to go to a local bar and see this band that we always like to watch. Here's the problem...my ex- will more than likey be there. Do you regret running into your ex? I'm not sure if my ex is with anyone new; however, I can never really know since he did break up with me so abruptly. I'm not sure if I should go...
((Hugs))
I don't know what it is with men, but almost all of them seem to have the uncanny ability to squash their pain at the ending of a relationship and quickly move on to the next woman -- even if it does happen to be on the rebound. I honestly don't think they take the time to think about things as deeply as we do. They tend to process situations more quickly and move on to the next person.
There are plenty of good reasons why you have been advised to cease ALL contact with him. It's not just because he's a jerk and doesn't deserve the time, attention or "brain space" that you give him. More importantly, it's for YOUR SAKE, to protect you from further emotional pain that seeing him and hearing his rhetoric/crap is certain to cause you.
Who cares if he's seeing someone else? The two of you are no longer together, so whether he's with her or several women, hearing "the truth" will only serve to hurt you further. And quite honestly, if you truly think he's getting some sort of perverse pleasure from hurting you, then that makes him a JERK, and you need to leave him alone!
If it helps any, think of him as a very hot stove. The more you allow him to have access to you, the more you leave yourself open and vulnerable to him, the more you will continue to get burned.
Conversely, the sooner you cut him off for good, the sooner you can get on the road to healing and recovery.
All the best,
Heymum
On Tuesday night(Aug 24th)I had a good conversation with a friend of mine and who also speaks to my EX on occassion and he was telling me that my ex seems to live two lives: one being the life of irresponsibility such as the partying all the time, trying to pick up girls, etc and the other life of responsibility which would involve 'growing up' a little and taking account for his actions and choosing to settle down with me. I do wonder if he realizes what a good thing he is giving up. Being together for 6 and 1/2 years with him I have invested a lot of my time and I am finding it really difficult to move on even though I am seeing a counselor and trying to cope with my depression. I just Love him so much and I wish it didn't hurt so much to be loosing him.
How can I fight this urge to send him a text message or the urge to call him to see if he wants to do something with me? My friend suggested that if I do contact him that it would be in the sense that I ask him what's taking him so long to return my stuff back to me, but I haven't done that yet. Tomorrow is his birthday and even though I wanted to buy him something for it I am not going to because it really hurt my feelings that he couldn't remember my birthday in June. He had called me 3 days later and said 'Oh, it was your birthday on Saturday, wasn't it? I guess I just forgot. I'm sorry'. That made me upset. I just feel so sad this week and I know that I am probably better off without him but is there any way to not think about wanting to talk to him? That's all I have been thinking about for the last couple of days. Sorry this is so long.
Nikki