I think it's finally final
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I think it's finally final
| Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:52am |
I finally made up my mind to leave. We will stay together in the house for some time to get it ready to sell, and then I will leave.
just announcing, cause I need to.

I have been coming to the realization for the last 2 or more years that I do not love my husband. I asked for a separation last Sept. and agreed to try to make it work. We've argued, made up, gone to counceling, and argued and made up and it all just seems to be wrong to me. I don't know how to feel differently than I do. I told my H that I still don't have the feelings that I need or want in our M.
I stayed in our M for so long, I think, because of the kids. they are now 17, 18 and 20. I do not feel the need to stay in this relationship without love anymore.
But this is SSOOOOOO hard. I don't like feeling guilty for hurting my H - or my kids. (they still don't know) I don't like havening to put our mutual friends through the discomfort. and I'm scared. I'm not a kid any more and I don't have the years ahead to be bubbly about starting over - but I do feel that it is the right thing to do, and I am hopeful and have had strong faith my whole life that I will be ok, no matter what. I do want to start a new type of life than what I've had. It feels right and relaxing - albeit, scary and confusing also right now.
I wish you much luck and strength in doing what is right for you. It is a hard thing to come to.
thanks for the response!!
S