i thought i was the only one

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
i thought i was the only one
5
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 3:46pm

discussion title: i thought i was the only one
emoticon:
message #: x.1
from: xcharliexx
date: 3:39 pm

its been six days since by boyfriend of 2 yrs walked out i thought i was the only one in the world going through this until today when i found this site i feel much better already knowing im not alone today is the first time i have eaten
last sunday he woke up had sex with me made me breakfast in bed then told me he was leaving i new we were having a few problems but didnt think he would leave i have phoned him but it only makes it harder because all he says is he would rather be on his own but he hasnt told me why
we even had a holiday booked for new yr now i cant beleive ill be spending christmas on my own
i have too children from a previous partner and he didnt even say good bye to them i just wish i new what happened and if i have done something wrong
im so scared ill never get over this and will be alone forever


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 4:01pm

Breaking up is incredibly hard on its own but when you have children it makes it worse. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend after 4 years and I have a 7 year old son who adored him. In the middle of my pain I have to hold it together and somehow explain to my son why he will never see my ex again. I think that has been the most difficult part, kids do not understand and I know this is really upsetting for my son.

Please know that you will not always feel this way. The first week is always the most difficult. Yes, it's hard but as time goes by it gets easier. I am sure that it makes it more difficult for you because you are left with so many unanswered questions but if this guy didn't have enough respect for you to explain why he was leaving you let you know that he was having problems in the relationship then he is not worth it. I know that is easy for me to say but it is the truth.
Keep coming back to the boards...read others stories, it will help you a great deal as it has for me!

Good luck
jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
Sat, 12-02-2006 - 4:09pm

my son is 7 too and my daughter 10 my ex didnt really make much effort with my children so they really dont mind that he has left but i m still finding it hard to cope because they need to life to go on as normal where as my world has fallen apart

thanks
carla xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 12:26pm

I know exactly what you mean, It is very hard to keep it together sometimes. My son and ex had a pretty close relationship so my son asks me quite a few questions. He has asked to call my ex and has written him letters. It really breaks my heart to see my son upset over this. I feel as though it is my fault. I don't bring people into his life and try to keep my personal life seperate but after 8 months of dating my ex I felt that it was okay to introduce them. Well, look where that put me 4 years later.
Anyway....as I said things do get better and you will find someone who is willing to be a bigger part of you and your childrens lives.
I wish you the best

Jessica

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2006
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 1:17pm
thanks jessica for ur reply it means alot to me that there are other ppl out there with children going through the same as me
how long has it been for u ?
he didnt do alot with us at the week end any way and the house is much more relaxed without him here but its still hard im worring about going to bed tonight because i cant sleep
what sort of things do u do to keep busy at the wk ends
carla xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:06am

I broke up with him on November 11th, so I guess I am heading into my 4th week.
It was hard to keep myself busy the first week. I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and sleep. Sleeping was the only time I didn't think about him, but as soon as I woke up my mind went to him. It was horrible! I finally decided I couldn't keep doing this to myself so I forced myself to go out with my friends. It was hard to have fun but my friends were very supportive and did everything they could to keep me distracted. I am also back in college and my finals are coming up in a week so I have had to keep myself busy with that. Of course I can't count the number of times that I have sat down to study and haven't been able to concentrate.
I think the thing that has really helped me is the list of things I hated about him and the relationship that I made. Everytime I felt really sad I would pull that list out and read it then I would get a little angry and realize why I didn't want to be with him.
Think of something you wanted to do, something that maybe you couldn't do while you were with him and do it!! You have your life back now...live it. I figured that I was unhappy with him and that is why I left. If I continue to be unhappy when I am not with him then I am still letting him control and effect me.
I am glad that the house now has a calmness to it! Trust me, in time you will find that for yourself.
Please feel free to email me whenever you want, I know how nice it is to have someone to talk to who is going through the same thing.
Jessica2@fuse.net

Take Care of yourself!!
Jess