I told him I wanted a divorce...
Find a Conversation
|Sun, 03-16-2014 - 7:46pm|
After SO much thought, effort and therapy put towards making the decision, I finally was able to make the move and tell him. The act itself was so very daunting to me- I thought I'd never have the strength to do it. We have been married for 4 and a half years and throughout that time, I have posted messages on this board about our rocky times. It's always been a struggle since day 1. Lots of basic and "common" issues ( like communication and sex) to others like your typical squabbles. We have been so back and forth about it (and even had a year separation) that my H is really having a hard time believing and accepting it. Each time we talk, he tries to convince me otherwise...that we can work it out...that we can get help. All of which I say, we alrady have. We've tried 2 therapists and did learn a good amount of stuff from the 2nd one. Things have improved and we were doing better. When it came time to talk about moving ahead, like buying a house, I still found myself dragging my feet. Knowing how this is all so unfair to him, I finally decided this is what I needed to do.
I know having the doubts now is common and to be expected, I just hate them. I'm left feeling like I'm making a mistake and feeling so sad that I am losing my best friend. But that's just it...the best friend thing but not a heck of a lot of sexual chemistry. I've made him feel disgusting...so unwanted. Again- so unfair to him. I know this is the right decision, especially bc I honestly feel very "calm" inside and at peace, but it's still so very painful