I violated every Breakup Rule
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I violated every Breakup Rule
| Sat, 11-03-2007 - 7:41pm |
I am 22 years old and my boyfriend of four and half years broke up with me a month and half ago. Since then I've violated every break up rule imaginable. We tried being friends even though I still was in love with him. I called him and sent him emails. We went out a couple of times and I drank way too much and ended up crying in front of him. We slept together. I went into a deep depression that I am still not out of and that I had to go

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my recent ex did the lets be friends thing at 33. if he was 66 he'd do the same thing.
i was like hell no. of course, i changed my opinion after we broke up for a bit, but i'm right back to the hell no now.
he can have all the friends he wants. he can have me only if he's my boyfriend. that's the deal.
i know i talk a big talk, but i miss him like hell. no wait, i missed him like hell last week. tonite i miss him like high water, and soon i will miss him like high water pants.
meaning, if you didn't get my twisted humor, time heals memories. and connections. if time doesn't do it, hot new guys will...
hugz.
p.s. at 22 i violated every break-rule too. now i only violate 90% of them. ;) but at least i know i can start over again the next minute.
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"If someone is not treating you with love & respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you."
"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves."
-- The Four Agreements
http://seeing-single.blogspot.com
Edited 11/9/2007 11:03 pm ET by devuchka
Hi -
I am 23 years old (turning 24) at the end of this month, and I am exactly where you are (but I've been worse).
Dear evolvedwoman,
You are not alone in this kind of emotional turmoil and feelings of despair. I think I got you beat with the most insane violations of break-up rules: My boyfriend and I broke up at the end of July, and all of my furniture and belongs were moved out of his house; however, since the middle of September, I've been staying at his house everyday--living together, but we are still broken up, and he doesn't want to get back together right now. It isn't something that has been agreed upon, but I know he's allowed me to stay with him the past couple of months because he is now unemployed and needs me to support him--and I've actually been doing it. We still have sex regularly, but it is not passionate, but he sleeps on the sofa every night, and I sleep in the bed.
I am totally degrading myself, and I've lost any shred of self-respect. I don't keep in contact with my friends too much anymore because I am too embarrassed since they've all heard of the situation from my mother, who is besides herself.
I work at the least 10 hours a day, and he lays on the sofa watching TV all day, and I've been picking up the tab for everything for the both of us and the house. I know he is using me, but I am consciously allowing it because I'm so affraid to fall so deep into a depression without them that I may do something extreme. So if you feel like you are psycho--realize that I am beyond a crazy state, and that you could be a lot worse off. We both somewhere along the line became co-dependent on this men, and we feel that they determine our identity and worth; therefore, we are in a losing battle and just need to gain the courage to let go.
Please consider us helping each other build back our self worth.
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