I want to break up with him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
I want to break up with him...
2
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 2:27am

....But I don't know how. I have been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 5 yrs. I love him, but i realized that I'm not in love with him. We met online and he moved out here to be with me. When I met him he was in his 30's and was living at home with his parent's and didn't have a job.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 10:37am

I know you mean well by being concerned about his job circumstances, but he is in his 30s and he is capable of supporting himself. You're not only making yourself miserable, but you're making him unhappy as well. It sounds like you're certain about your decision, so just be straightforward about it and quit pretending that a relationship is there when it's not. It's your job to make decisions in your life that make you happy and that are in your best interests. It's not your job to ensure someone has a job or a place to live.


My ex moved in with me 2 months ago. We live in a small community where there is a housing shortage. During our last argument, he admitted that he didn't love me, didn't want to work on the relationship, and wanted to focus on his hobbies instead of spending time with me. He actually wanted to continue living with me after dropping those bombshells (whatever...). I knew that I couldn't heal and move on if he was living here, so I kicked him out of the house. He packed up that night, and it was his responsibility to find a place to live. I didn't know where he was going to go, but in order to preserve my emotional integrity, he couldn't stay here. Things worked out. He's living with a friend of his on the other side of the community, so I don't have to see him on a regular basis. He's OK, and I'm healing a lot faster than if I let him stay here after we broke up (he's 38, I'm 34). All the best.


hugs, lisa

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 2:22pm

Welcome to the board icechick30,


Next time he talks about leaving, talk to him him.