I want him to want me back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
I want him to want me back.
5
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:19pm

My ex and I broke up in August. We didn't talk for 4 months. 2 months ago he kept contacting me and eventually got back into my life. He hasn't talked about getting back together specifically, but he has apologized to me and told me how much he values me as a person now. We talk daily, as friends. Either through text messages, emails, or phone. We don't ever see eachother though because we live in different states. He claims that he is not trying to get back together with me, that he just wants me in his life and he wants me to see the real him. He makes contradicting comments though about either our past or our possible future.

Do you think he has alterior motives? Does a man ever want to just "be friends" and talk to his ex everyday?!! It seems very odd to me.

How do I get him to come crawling back? I have to admit that I still care for him very deeply. I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with him again until he has changed. But I want to be the one in charge here. I want to be wanted! This probably sounds bad but I can't help it. What should I do to make him want me back?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:39pm

You know I think he wants you back. I think he is just saying that he doesn't so he isn't coming on to strong. Who broke up with who? Need to know that. I think you should keep doing as you're doing but get together with him and see what happend. Old sparks may reignite.

I am kinda in your boat. Only my x is also the father of my 2 kids. We were together for 6 years. He left in october. Fed me some crap about how he didn't love me and some other crap.. Then a week later he is over here asking if we can be "sex" buddies. Meanwhile he has a new girl. I have been having sex with him. Bad me!! Not in a few weeks and I intend to keep it that way. I am still very much in love with him but he is dealing with this stupid 19 year old. No offense to 19 year olds but she is just so childish.

I know it hurts but just see what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:41pm

Since you are in different states, is he dating someone? Could he be dating and not telling you? If so, you could be the 'back up' just in case things don't work out or develop with him and someone else.

Good luck.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:56pm

He broke up with me. The major problem is that he wasn't willing to move out here (CA). Now he says that he wants to go to school out here, etc etc. That now he is ready. I don't know if I can believe him though because he is one of those people who has big dreams but doesn't always follow through, if you know what I mean. Also, he is 25 and I am 20. It's not really possible for us to see eachother because he lives on the east coast. He asked me to go visit him out there but I told him no way. There is no way I'm spending the time/money to go visit the man who broke my heart. It would be foolish. I asked him why he wants me to and he said he just wants to spend time with me. Sounds fishy. I told him if he wants to see me so bad he can come out HERE. He doesn't have the money though so it won't happen.

Sorry about your situation with your ex. Men can be so stupid! I am convinced that they don't ever grow up. They will be 18 year olds forever. Lol. Good for you for not having sex with him anymore. Keep it that way!! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?? Haha :-P

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 4:58pm
No he's not dating anyone. I just know him. And even if he were I wouldn't want to know about it. There's no point because we are "just friends". He is in too weird of a state of mind to be dating anyone I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2006
Thu, 01-25-2007 - 5:42pm
I agree. I didn't know you lived so far away. It seems it may be harder. I live like 5 minutes from my ex and I hate it. Ready to move!!! I feel like he does miss you and wish you would come back to him. How long were you together for? All I can say is see what happens. Men do suck or should we call them boys!!! We will eventually move on and get better. It does take time so I have heard. I just wish he would quit giving me mixed signals. He keeps telling me he isn't dating that get and that she is a B. But her car is there daily!!! I don't know why he cares what I think since he left me. Oh well.