I want to leave,I think hes suicidal..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
I want to leave,I think hes suicidal..
3
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 11:16am
My husband works 7 days a week to keep up ungodly support payments to his ex.We married 6 yrs ago ,shortly after.. he lost his sex drive and we basically have a sexless marriage.

Last night I told him how unhappy I am, I cried alot,I told him I cannot go on like this with him.

This morning he was crying saying not to leave him ect.He left a note on the counter,asking who would miss him when hes dead,that all hes good at is work and hes a failure as a husband /father.

I'm confused, and scared. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 1:35pm
I dont really have words of help or anything, but I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel... my b/f broke down the other night, started saying that he doesnt feel he belongs anywhere and that his son deserves a better father and so on... :( It's a very hard thing to react to, and I don't know what to do either.... hang in there...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:03pm

I would just like to say i have never been in this situation but this is what i would do. firstly why are the support payments so high? if i were you i would talk to the csa and get them to review it. Giving a lot of money especially if it is making you depressed does not make you a good parent. I'm sure his child would much prefer a happy dad to one that is buying him new trainers every week.

How about suggesting counselling? I no most men run a mile when you mention it, but if he really loves you and wants you to stay then he would do it for you. It couldn't do him any harm and maybe he would find it easier to talk to someone else that he doesn't feel will judge him or think any less of him, and it really could help.

I hope things work out for you. Keep me posted. good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Wed, 11-17-2004 - 10:31pm
Welcome to the board!! I'm sorry you're going through all this. I must ask is the no sex all that's bothering you in this marriage or is there more? If it's just the sex....I'm sure it can be worked out...especially with all the medications out these days but if its something more that you feel you can't overcome and leaving is what would make you happy, then do it. Most times that people hint about or say they are going to commit suicide don't really intend on killing themselves but instead are trying to get attention and to keep you in their lives. So if you want to leave....alert his family (or good friend or neighbor) about the note and ask them to keep an eye on him just in case. Good luck and keep us posted!!











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