I'm not sure I could answer that with out a lot more information being given. How old is her husband? He could be from the era of men who don't talk about their feelings or show emotions, especially in public, and so it could be just how he was raised to "be a man". How was his parents relationship also falls into that. Did he ever see his father being affectionate to his mother? He learned how to be a husband from dear ol' dad.
Then moving on to what happens when SHE reaches out and grabs his hand or tells him she loves him? Does he shoo her hand away? Does he stand there silent not saying I love you back? If she went to give him a hug in public, what does he do?
Moving on to what does he say when she voices her hurt feelings about his lack of verbal love confermation and touching? Does he even know that she wishes he'd tell her and touch her more or has she tried to "train" him with out ever cluing him in? Was he always this way, or did it change to this after they got married? Then, if he DOES know that this bothers her and he is still denying her what she needs anyway, with out even trying, I've got to wonder why she married him in the first place? Because if he KNOWS and is withholding this, it's basically broken down to being inconsiderate and selfish. He's being inconsiderate of the fact she needs this, and selfish by not giving it.
Don't give up! If this is what you need to feel loved and appreciated, make sure he knows how much these displays of affection mean to you. It may be that he didn't grow up seeing his parents touch or express their feelings in such a way, and he still needs more practice.
Try driving home the point that these subtle gestures score big points with you in the desire department. Say to him, "When you touch my hand like that or say, 'I love you' in public, I think it's the sexiest thing in the world, and it totally turns me on." This kind of talk may hit his hot button and be just the nudge he needs. Then keep showing him what you mean. When you're on a stroll together, give him a quick embrace or kiss him on the neck, and again follow it up with a brief word about how romantic and frisky a move like that makes you feel. In time he'll understand how important these intimacies are, and he'll follow your lead.
While I agree with the suggestion by the "expert" gave in the first paragraph, I do have to take issue with the explanation given in the second.
Maybe it's because I'm older, or maybe it's my upbringing, but why does it have to be about sex to get what you NEED("...I think it's the sexiest thing in the world, and it totally turns me on.")? If the couple has been married for four years, I would think that the relationship has evolved past the physical attraction phase, while still keeping some of it intact. Food, shelter, and procreation are the basic drives that never go away in order to survive as a species. So don't think that it's going to stop just because you wore white for a day (or have white on the top of your head, for that matter). As a part of a team, one should be able to request or demand from the other partner something that would only improve his/her own well-being. And the "other half" should be able to respond without having to dangle the proverbial "carrot on a stick".
My parents came from households where the fathers were not demonstrative to anyone in the family. Consequently, my father was not very affectionate with either my brother or me. But you better believe he held my mother's hand, and showed some PDA. I don't think it was for the sex only. It was (and still is) because he adores her and because he realized it made my mother feel good. In talking about it with DM, it was because she took the lead in showing him affection, and then told him she needed it back.
Don't wait for your partner to do something if it makes you feel more positive about yourself AND the relationship. But, don't use the "sex" card to get what you NEED. Follow the advice of the big advertisers, and use it to get what your want, like big diamonds on Valentine's Day and fancy cars for Christmas (tongue firmly planted in cheek).
I'm not sure I could answer that with out a lot more information being given. How old is her husband? He could be from the era of men who don't talk about their feelings or show emotions, especially in public, and so it could be just how he was raised to "be a man". How was his parents relationship also falls into that. Did he ever see his father being affectionate to his mother? He learned how to be a husband from dear ol' dad.
Then moving on to what happens when SHE reaches out and grabs his hand or tells him she loves him? Does he shoo her hand away? Does he stand there silent not saying I love you back? If she went to give him a hug in public, what does he do?
Moving on to what does he say when she voices her hurt feelings about his lack of verbal love confermation and touching? Does he even know that she wishes he'd tell her and touch her more or has she tried to "train" him with out ever cluing him in? Was he always this way, or did it change to this after they got married? Then, if he DOES know that this bothers her and he is still denying her what she needs anyway, with out even trying, I've got to wonder why she married him in the first place? Because if he KNOWS and is withholding this, it's basically broken down to being inconsiderate and selfish. He's being inconsiderate of the fact she needs this, and selfish by not giving it.
Too little information given by the OP.
Don't give up! If this is what you need to feel loved and appreciated, make sure he knows how much these displays of affection mean to you. It may be that he didn't grow up seeing his parents touch or express their feelings in such a way, and he still needs more practice.
Try driving home the point that these subtle gestures score big points with you in the desire department. Say to him, "When you touch my hand like that or say, 'I love you' in public, I think it's the sexiest thing in the world, and it totally turns me on." This kind of talk may hit his hot button and be just the nudge he needs. Then keep showing him what you mean. When you're on a stroll together, give him a quick embrace or kiss him on the neck, and again follow it up with a brief word about how romantic and frisky a move like that makes you feel. In time he'll understand how important these intimacies are, and he'll follow your lead.
While I agree with the suggestion by the "expert" gave in the first paragraph, I do have to take issue with the explanation given in the second.
Maybe it's because I'm older, or maybe it's my upbringing, but why does it have to be about sex to get what you NEED("...I think it's the sexiest thing in the world, and it totally turns me on.")? If the couple has been married for four years, I would think that the relationship has evolved past the physical attraction phase, while still keeping some of it intact. Food, shelter, and procreation are the basic drives that never go away in order to survive as a species. So don't think that it's going to stop just because you wore white for a day (or have white on the top of your head, for that matter). As a part of a team, one should be able to request or demand from the other partner something that would only improve his/her own well-being. And the "other half" should be able to respond without having to dangle the proverbial "carrot on a stick".
My parents came from households where the fathers were not demonstrative to anyone in the family. Consequently, my father was not very affectionate with either my brother or me. But you better believe he held my mother's hand, and showed some PDA. I don't think it was for the sex only. It was (and still is) because he adores her and because he realized it made my mother feel good. In talking about it with DM, it was because she took the lead in showing him affection, and then told him she needed it back.
Don't wait for your partner to do something if it makes you feel more positive about yourself AND the relationship. But, don't use the "sex" card to get what you NEED. Follow the advice of the big advertisers, and use it to get what your want, like big diamonds on Valentine's Day and fancy cars for Christmas (tongue firmly planted in cheek).
Mimiche