I was doing SO well! Now I'm down again

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
I was doing SO well! Now I'm down again
13
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 7:36pm

Hi all. Some of you may recognize my screenname. My ex left about 2.5 months ago and I havent talked to him since. We lived together for 3.5 years. Anyways... I had been doing so well the past month I'd say. Then BAM!, this weekend I spent most of the time by myself and now I'm feeling so depressed. All I'm doing is thinking about him and replaying memories. I also cant stop thinking about who he may be with right now and wonder if he's moved on. Last night was one of the worst nights since he left. I was in bed for about 3 hours just tossing and turning and thinking about him. It's so weird because I haven't done that since the week that he left. Today at work I had to actually get up from my desk a few times and go to the restroom because my eyes starting watering because I wanted to cry. It feels like he just broke up with me. How could this be?! Is this some phase or stage that everyone goes through? I'm starting to wonder if maybe I need some therapy to get through all the things in my head.

Has this happened to anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 8:33pm

It happens to everyone else, at about the two-month mark, almost like clockwork. In fact, when it doesn't happen, Carrie and I kinda worry that things aren't progressing along ;-)

No worries, it's normal. Just keep going.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 8:53pm
Thats such a relief to hear. I think I'm going to start journaling and write the famous "goodbye letter" I've heard so much about. Of course, I wont send it though. :) Thanks for the uplifting words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 9:30pm

No worries, hot mama, I went through it too and it does throw you for a loop.

The goodbye letter IS a great thing to do, and so much better unsent. You may try this, even:
I took mine, put in a heavy glass bowl outside and set the letter on fire. I watched it burn and saw the ashes float up and away, out of my life. Drank a glass of wine while I did that, cried my eyes out, and felt a million times better afterwards.

Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2008
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 9:43pm

When my ex of 11 yrs left, It took me a good yr to get over it.
When my ex and I of 2 yrs ended it, it took me 3 months to get over it and I never thought about it again.


I think it all depened on how and why you break up.

Was last weekend your 1st weekend alone since breaking up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 10:10pm

No, actually I had spent about a week at home alone a couple weeks ago because I had some minor surgery done that kept me home. And by the end of that week, I was feeling pretty down too, but not as bad as I have the past couple days.

Thanks for the advice, I'm going to burn the letter also. It sounds very comforting and therapeutic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:20pm

Hi Marcie. :)

Just wanted to offer some hugs and say I can completely relate. My breakup was 3 1/2 months ago and but I had a little backsliding incident 1 month ago. Anyway, I feel like I'm in the same place. Had been doing great for the past few days I've found myself replaying memories, obsessing, crying easily, and just missing him a lot. I'm glad to hear this is normal!

think I'm going to try writing a goodbye letter and burning it too. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 1:16am

Hi,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 12:41pm

Welcome to the board colleen2008,


There are good days and bad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 1:04pm

Don't be too hard on yourself because you are grieving.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 5:39pm

Hi, thank you.

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