I was doing SO well! Now I'm down again

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
I was doing SO well! Now I'm down again
13
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 7:36pm

Hi all. Some of you may recognize my screenname. My ex left about 2.5 months ago and I havent talked to him since. We lived together for 3.5 years. Anyways... I had been doing so well the past month I'd say. Then BAM!, this weekend I spent most of the time by myself and now I'm feeling so depressed. All I'm doing is thinking about him and replaying memories. I also cant stop thinking about who he may be with right now and wonder if he's moved on. Last night was one of the worst nights since he left. I was in bed for about 3 hours just tossing and turning and thinking about him. It's so weird because I haven't done that since the week that he left. Today at work I had to actually get up from my desk a few times and go to the restroom because my eyes starting watering because I wanted to cry. It feels like he just broke up with me. How could this be?! Is this some phase or stage that everyone goes through? I'm starting to wonder if maybe I need some therapy to get through all the things in my head.

Has this happened to anyone else?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 5:55pm
I totally understand about the nuturing yourself especially after taking care of others all day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 6:52pm
Hi Colleen. Sounds like we're in the same boat. I have only 1 friend that I can talk to about all this and then maybe 2 friends to hang out with every now and then. I also live alone now since he left and it does make it harder. It really sucks to have to live in the house that we lived in together. Everything is a constant reminder. But I also notice myself recalling memories of random times in our relationship. It's weird... like memories of things that you wouldnt think would be significant are just popping up out of nowhere. Its almost like my brain is dumping out every little memory about him. Is almost seems methodical, like its supposed to happen. I don't know...I'm hoping that my brain is smarter than I am right no, if that makes sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Fri, 03-14-2008 - 8:41pm

thanks for writing that. interesting. my nightmares and sadness popped up in the last week , worse than ever.

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