I was enough good for the bad times
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| Tue, 07-11-2006 - 6:29pm |
It took me a awhile to even write this , but I knew that I needed to vent . So here we go ... We were together for 14 years with him going in and out of jail 2years here 6months there 3 years etc. but during that time we had a daughter 10 years old . I had soo many chances that I could've taken and left to better myself and my finances . But wanted him to have a relationship with his daughter then we started talking about how close it was til he gets off Parole and can finally do so much more with his life . He's working bought a new car and even got his credit together. So one day Checked his voice mail and text messages I found out her name and that they were meeting and really together . I confronted him and he didn't even deny it . He was like as if those 14years meant nothing . He doesn't call and he has moved out of state . He sends 100.00 per week for my daughter and can't be reached after 12am-8am and those are not his working hours .I am hurting so much because I was a fool I should've never waited I could've been living alot better . I cry so much and when I cried to him , he seems so distant . He won't take my calls , but when he wants to call me he expects me to answer .I am so confused and I am hurting . How could he once he gets on his feet forget about us . He had the nerve to tell my daughter that he would send a picture of his new big house . It's not fair I was good for the bad but not the good

Hey Shante
Sorry to hear about your ex's foolish/irresponsible behavior & how he hurt you.
You waited, held onto hope, neglected doing things for yourself thinking that he was straightening up & working towards your future. Then BAM, he totally lets you & your daughter down. When I hear some of these stories it makes me wanna slap these men right in the kisser!
This may sound bad but I believe it's better that you found out now rather than later.
Now you can start healing yourself, be there for your daughter, and do all the things you wanted too but never did. It's NEVER to late to start changing your life and start working towards your goals. Hopefully now that he's out of the picture, you'll be able to focus more on yourself & do what needs to be done for YOU!
Don't allow yourself to spend anymore time on him then you already have....unless you're looking to keep an open communication for your daughters relationship with him.
You don't need to cry to him... cry to us here, we'll listen attentivly and will be your support. He is not a person you can rely on with your feelings especially when he's the one who caused them!!! If you have family/friends/church/etc a support system is great!
Life isn't fair...ain't that the truth. But you have to start taking control of your life to make it better & not allow him to drag you down any further. You know what they say, if you're down, there's no place else to go but up!!
Bottom line, focus on you! You deserve much more then he could ever give and in the end, you'll do so many wonderful things in your life that one day you'll look back and thank yourself for letting him go.
Big Hugs for you!
Regina
I'm so sorry for your heartbreak, I know it's feeling devastating to you.
God is so good and I don't want to throw my beliefs on anyone so for give me if I just did ., But That's what I had to write . Tonight I knew was going to be hard for me . It is raining and the rain can sometimes make you feel even more depressed and hurt more than you already do. But something told me go online and see if anyone read my post or even cared . Ladies I think that if I wouldv'e looked and there were no postings , I would've starting calling him , but now I feel or should I say know that I can go to sleep without calling at least tonight . It just hurts to know that he can just move on like that . When we decided to have a child together my two boys were 10 and 17 I was wearing a size 7/8 and was going to the gym everyday working at a job I loved and really getting past a violent relationship . After I had my daughter prematurly a c-section and gained 80 lbs. I battled depression and can't say that I've always won.But still non of those things stopped me from being a good wife and a excellent mother . I always thought that when things got good for us we would be together. But they got good for him and he just left , ran didn't even look back . I find myself sometimes even having my daughter call him . Just so that I can see if he asks for me or to see if he'll answer when he sees her number. When does this stop ? Why can't I just let go ? Ladies Your support is all I have now and I thank you now maybe I can get some sleep .
Pain is weakness leaving the body..... YEAH RIGHT