I wish he would come back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
I wish he would come back.
14
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 12:45pm

That's pretty much it. I just really miss him and wish he would come back. It's been a week and a half since he broke up with me and I don't think I feel any better. I guess more accepting that this is how it is, but no part of me feels like this was the right thing and I don't feel any better about it.

Why can't I just get over it? I want him back, but since he's obviously not coming back, as he most likely would have done so by now, I wish I could move past this and stop missing him. I am so sad today. I still cry every day. Nothing's as much fun without him. Even when I wasn't actually in his presence at whatever particular moment, life was just brighter when he was my boyfriend.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent. And cry some more. Which I will do now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 12:53pm

My ex and I broke up before 2+ months. I remember that I cried a lot afterwards. When the crying stopped, I just felt empty, couldn't imagine how to go on with my daily life, since we had called and emailed each other frequently everyday before the breaking up.

Now, 2 months later, I am enjoying my single life. Sure, I still miss him, and some situations and sudden rememberance could make my cry. I still feel lonely sometimes. But I ensure you, things do get better. With a lot of helps from friends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 3:04pm
I feel the exact same way. I just broke up with my boyfriend and I feel close to worthless without him. I am fine on my own, and have been before, but I feel so lonely. Nothing is quite as fun....just as you said. I was madly in love with him, and I can barely make it 5 minutes without dwelling on the past. Here's hoping that each day gets better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 3:45pm

Another user actually posted that sentiment on another thread, the feeling of nothing being as much fun anymore. When I read that, it was like "That's EXACTLY what I'm feeling!" I hadn't been able to put my finger on it, but that hit the nail on the head.

I do the same thing. I almost feel like, if I *don't* dwell, then it must mean I don't really want him back. Which is ridiculous, because I have responsibilities and stuff and so I can't think about it all the time, but it's what my mind comes up with. I keep thinking of the good times, and then the same questions keep running through my head: Why? How does someone just stop loving you? How can you love someone one minute and then not the next? Can we ever come back from that? Is that a once-and-done thing? And so on.

I don't know if you've ever felt that way, like you had to dwell on it in order to keep hope alive?

I just feel like such a freak being on such an emotional rollercoaster. One minute I'm close to fine, the next I'm close to tears, the next I'm IN tears, a few minutes later I can kind of pull it together... ugh.

"Here's hoping that each day gets better."
Summerjoy and freudenk, thanks for your messages and here's to hope. *clink*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 4:12pm

8 weeks here. But it is getting better, still have moments, Last week i broke down at least 4 days in a row. Sometimes i have thought I dwell on it, because if I don't it wasn't real.
I know that might sound crazy, but they pop into my head, then I make myself think of something else, or get up and do something, and the thought passes. I tell myself daily sometimes numerous times, I deserve to be loved and respected, and that it will get better.
I have even managed to go out with the girls a couple of times and looking into starting some classes. Just hang in there and we can get through this, on our way to something better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 4:25pm

it takes 2 to make a relationship work.

i know exactly how you feel. i go through the same thing. some days are good and others are just plain awful. i wonder what he is doing, thinking, and feeling. things aren't as fun without him, but summer is starting and that certainly makes me feel a lil better!

everyone on this board has experienced this at some point or another.

some day you will wake up and realize you are in a better place than you are in now. it won't hurt as much, as time is the ultimate healer. there's a piece of your heart that will always wonder about him, but that doesn't mean you have to contact him at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 4:40pm

I know how you feel, too. Exactly. It is so hard to go through all of these emotions -- especially when the person you loved who brought so much happiness and fulfullment into your life is the one who has also made you feel so incredibly low and leveled. It's pretty surreal. It's been 5 weeks for me and I am still on the ups and downs of all this.

It's normal. There will be some days that are easier, others that aren't. You may think about 20 times a day or 200 times a day. You may feel like each day is getting easier and then get knocked back, like wave striking you down when your back is to the water. Apparently, it's all normal -- who knew?!

I think back to how good it felt to be with him. I felt so lucky, so secure and happy. And even when I was not with him phyically, you just feel that support. Knowing you're loved and on someone's mind. You get snug that it's not "you" it's "we" and "our." You smile every time the phone rings and you know it's him. After two years, I still cracked into a grin like an idiot every time I saw him, pulled into his driveway, met him at my door. It is hard not having that -- it's like getting the covers ripped off of you. I feel incredibly alone and dejected. I bet you all do too. Everyone says time helps, mourn all of this. It is easier said than done as we all know.

But I think what is normal, though seems scary at times, is that one day you can be seeking out this type of advice and the next be posting it in response to someone else.

I think just chalk it all up to healing. But, if it's any consolation, I'm there with you in feeling like this. We all are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 6:37pm

hey,

it's been five days for me..

"I don't know if you've ever felt that way, like you had to dwell on it in order to keep hope alive?"

... i feel the exact same way.. i keep thinking that i want him to realise he made a mistake, there was so much love there, how did this happen..

Something that made me feel a bit better.. I told myself that i just have to trust that if i *am* what he wants, i will be important enough to him for him to do something about that... and if not... i will find it again...

Obviously I don't know your exact circumstances.. but i guess just trust the universe is looking out for you and supporting you, as is everyone on this board...

believe me i know it's hard.. and hey, it's only been 5 days for me so what do i know, but i am finding comfort in these boards..

take care *hugs*

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 7:13pm

Hello goddess,
I'm very sorry you're going through this too. It's kind of bittersweet that we can all take comfort in each other... it's like, "Wow, these people understand how I feel!" But then it's like, "...because it's happening to them too..." Which stinks. But, since it is what it is, it's extremely comforting to know that there are people out there to talk to.

"Something that made me feel a bit better.. I told myself that i just have to trust that if i *am* what he wants, i will be important enough to him for him to do something about that... and if not... i will find it again... i guess just trust the universe is looking out for you and supporting you, as is everyone on this board..."
That's actually a really lovely way to put it. Especially the part about everyone on this board. I've taken quite a bit of strength from here, which I *never* thought would happen. I mean, these people are complete strangers! What could anyone possibly say that would possibly offer me any comfort at all? (This was my thought process right around where you are now, at the five-day mark.) But... here we are. I've found support in complete strangers. Never thought it would happen to me, but it did. And they're all great.

"and hey, it's only been 5 days for me so what do i know, but i am finding comfort in these boards.. "
You know more than you think you do. Doesn't matter that it's not been very long for you. Your experience can help the person who was just broken up with an hour ago, or the person who's been stuck in day-five mentality for 33 days now (that's not me btw). If you share it, any number of people WILL be able to take wisdom and support from it.

I'm sorry this is so fresh for you. I never thought I'd feel it, but it does get better, and it will for you too.

Take good care. Lots of hugs to you too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2006
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:17am

I am write there with you. It is very hard :( I wish the same thing for my relationship.
He is/was my world and it is hard to go on w/out him in it.
I still don't feel it is the right thing, I still have a glimmer of hope. But sometimes you need to be apart to see if it was really meant to be. I know it is something neither of us want to hear. :(

My heart goes out to you.

sending you a hug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
Thu, 05-31-2007 - 9:41am

Hi anoz,
You're exactly right, and yes it is very hard. It's one of those "tough love" things I think. Not sure if it's the same for you, but keeping hope keeps me happy, which helps get me through until we're either back together, or I move on.

My heart, hope, and best wishes go out to you.

Hugs,

bb

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