i wish i could forget him but i can't
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i wish i could forget him but i can't
| Wed, 09-28-2005 - 7:38am |
It's been about a month since I broke up with my ex. Last night I dreamt that we were together again and that we were so happy. I'm trying to tell myself over and over again that I had very good reasons to get out of this but lately reading that list of reasons again just isn't helping me at all. All of my friends want to see me move on and they say I deserve better and they know how unhappy I was at times in this relationship, but at the bottom of it I know that I loved him and I still do. I was thinking about the time we took a trip together last year and how happy I was and how certain I felt that the relationship was going somewhere. I wish I could forget the whole thing because it hurts so much.
I want to date again and for a while I thought I'd be able to but now it's like I feel so hopeless. I broke up with him because I know I had to give other guys chances because my ex didn't want to get married yet and now I'm so apathetic about datin. I'm afraid that one day I'm just going to end up with a good man who treats me well but I don't have a lot of passion for. I hate being alone and listening to everyone else around me talk about getting married and having kids. I went to my high school reunion and felt like such a failure when I found out that most of my classmates were married already and all I had was a mediocre career that I don't even like.
I want to date again and for a while I thought I'd be able to but now it's like I feel so hopeless. I broke up with him because I know I had to give other guys chances because my ex didn't want to get married yet and now I'm so apathetic about datin. I'm afraid that one day I'm just going to end up with a good man who treats me well but I don't have a lot of passion for. I hate being alone and listening to everyone else around me talk about getting married and having kids. I went to my high school reunion and felt like such a failure when I found out that most of my classmates were married already and all I had was a mediocre career that I don't even like.

This is a lonely time but cheer up..with some positive affirmations you can change the way you feel. I am using Louise Hay's workbook, Love Yourself, Heal Your Life. It is chock full of affirmations that help me so much. I start my day with affirmations.
Here are two for you today:
I am safe, it's only change (loneliness)
I am deserving of a loving healthy relationship
Also Sunny, envision the kind of man you want ...feel it, taste it...he will come...
hi there, first off, i'm very sorry for the pain you feel right now...unfortunately, most of us on here, probably knows the kind of pain you feel right now, so know you are not alone...maybe that will help.
I went through the same thing...after my 4 year relationship(lived for 2)....all i wanted was to forget about my ex and the life we shared together, because quite frankly, it just hurts too damn much to remember...and i did everything possible to try to forget him and us...i got involved in a relationship way too soon and stayed in that relationship even though it was terrible and toxic because i didn't want to face all the feelings i was feeling about MY decision to leave my ex, and i didn't want to start thinking about him and missing him and all of those painful flashbacks....even when i finally got out of the bad relationship, i started dating again because i thought i was ready(according to the "timeline"), but even though sufficient amount of time had passed, it didn't mean s*** because i had done nothing but avoid my issues/feelings in regards to my ex. dating when you are not ready will only prolong your healing and letting go. and since it's only been 1 month since your break up, i really don't think you're ready to date again, as tempting as it may be.
I finally realized(the hard way) that i couldn't avoid anymore, so i faced and still trying to face my issues with the break up....something really important i also realized is that i didn't want to forget my ex anymore(even though it was near impossible), because we shared something really special and i didn't want that to go to waste, i didn't want to forget the wonderful times/life we shared together(even the pain would stop)...my goal was to be able to remember him and us....and not have a break down...once i'm able to do that then i know i'm well on my way on my path of healing and growing. it's been a year and i'm still not ready to date and i'm still trying to let go....it hurts, i know, trust me i know......but i've made a little bit of progress just in the last 12 days, and i know that you will too, when you are ready, and if you ask for help from God(whatever higher power you believe in), and you are dedicated to do the work involved in the whole healing process, then i can guarantee that you will feel better.
take care