I Wish I Could Understand Why....

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
I Wish I Could Understand Why....
1
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 1:29am
I have had no contact at all with my ex since we broke up on wednesday night of this past week. We met in September of 2005 and he did a wonderful job of acting, really, and making himself out to be this wonderful person who was exactly what I was looking for. I found out in October 2006 that not only had he been lying for 6 months and sleeping with 1 specific girl, he also had several online dating profiles and a myspace stating that he was single. He went out on who knows how many dates and talked on the phone to at least 13 other women. I found all of this out after he convinced me to quit my job. I have a chronic medical illness and he acted so caring and told me that he would take care of my bills while I stopped working and took an online class to pursue a work-at-home career. So after much soul searching and a month of no contact, he started calling and texting and crying and begging for another chance. I gave in after awhile, and we saw a counselor, he quit the job he was working which kept him away on the road and was in the process of finding one close to home when we stopped talking the final time.He also gave me access to his cellphone records, gave me all his email passwords, changed his cellphone number and seemingly bent over backwards to build trust. We were on the phone for hours everynight where we both cried and he pretty much argued me into staying with him. And the worst part is that he looked at me everyday, held me at night, wiped my tears and was still lying and probably cheating. I found out this past week via his phone records that he had a late night txt and after checking it out it turns out it was a female coworker he spoke to all the time while him and I were apart. And while we were supposedly working it out, he worked with her for at least 2 weeks and did I don't know what else. I don't get it. Why not leave me alone when we broke up the first time. I still want to call him sometimes (like now) and ask WHY, WHY WHY??? When I asked he said that maybe I was right that he was too immature, that part of him wants to be free but the other part knows I'm perfect for him and wants to marry me. Then he was crying and telling me that he loves me too much to hurt me again and he knows he'll just screw it up again and that's why he's not arguing with me to keep me around because he really was doing everything right, and that really was just a coworker. He obviously gave her his number after he changed it and he did admit to me that he "Couldn't remember" if he mentioned that he had a girlfriend or not. I wish I knew the truth, I guess I never will.I just wish I could understand why he went to all the trouble if he wasn't serious this second time around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-12-2007 - 11:51am

Sorry you have to go through this brwneyedchica. No one can say why he did what he did or why. And he doesn't sound like he really knows either.