i wish i hated him
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| Sun, 10-21-2007 - 11:30am |
Summer of 2006 I guess I fell in love with this guy. We had so much in common and we spent everyday together. he made me feel things I have never felt before. He told me everything i wanted to hear. I felt so comfortable around him, and i loved the fact that he was mine and i was his. We were perfect for eachother. I never thought anything would change. Until one day he got in some trouble with the cops. I was told by family memebers and friends that i wasnt allowed to see him again, well at least not for a year and a half. I had the biggest break down of my life. I couldnt move. Stone cold. I didnt go to school or work for days. It felt like everything was gone. Until I got to talk to him. He told me he loved me and he would wait forever. He told me he would find a way to make things right. he said he would apologize to my family and my friends. he never got around to it. Soo one night he calls me. he sounds distraught. I ask him what was wrong. He told me he cheated on me. He cheated on me with a girl i hated with a passion. At this point I was royally pissed off. He showed up at my house. I threw his stuff at him. All he could say was that he was sorry. So i said "sorry is a word what you did was an action it doesnt quite cover it up this time" Than I had a major break down and bitch fit right in front of him. I screamed "how could you do this to me!" about 20 times. Than i yelled "i cant take it anymore, goodbye goodbye goodbye!" so i went and cried on a friends shoulder. I came back checked my emails and found one from him. reading : i get the feeling you just broke up with me Katie. I dont want to break up. I love you and will start treating you with the respect you desearve." i took him back. Next night I went to the movies with some friends. As i was driving I looked on the side of the road seeing him and that bitch hand and hanf at 12 o'clock. I got on myspace posted a bulletin reading : i just saw my supposid boyfriend walking down the road with some whore, what do you think im going to do?: he read it and we broke up. I felt horrible for 6 months. Than one day he shows up at my door. We go to the bar and shoot some pool. (at this time he was 18 so he got me in,) he told me he loved me and kissed me. We got back together. I found out he cheated on me. Hickys on his neck i didnt give him. haha. we had a one on one conversation and somehow the hicky conversation got back to me about how he was proud for cheating and lying to me. So we broke up. A week later we got back together...... we lasted another month. and we broke up again because i didnt wanna go swimming at comfort in with him. A little later we started talking again and got back together and we broke up because his ex girlfriend keept calling to talk to him on my phone...hmmmm....come to find out he knocked her up... now i feel like crap knowing who he really is but i still cant get over it. what should i do? sometimes we talk again.... and he tells me he loves me. i dont believe him anymore........ he almost got his ass kicked the other day..... i couldnt bare to watch, after all the pain he put me through.... i still love him and want nothing bad to happen to him....... will i ever be happy again?

Welcome to the baord katiehateshim13,
First, I'm going to ask you to clean up your post and take out the 'bad' words - I'd hate to see your post get pulled or deleted byt the mods, before you can get any helpful advice. :0)
::now i feel like cr*p knowing who he really is but i still cant get over it. what should i do?
Katie, you really ALWAYS did know who he really was.