I wrote him an email & I'm so mad now

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
I wrote him an email & I'm so mad now
8
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:23pm
Ok, so I was so angry this whole weekend about my ex breaking my heart that I typed him an email and ripped him apart and now I regret it. I didn't call or text but I sent the email like a fool. It felt good at the time but I know it wasn't good at all to do. I am so hurt right now that someone could be so selfish and sneaky and cruel to the person who loved them. Me.
I read the Zen of Doing Nothing after I sent the email. That was the best thing I could have read. But now I look like a fool and I'm mad at myself. Do most people make mistakes like this early into a break-up? It's only been 6 days.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:36pm
I think what you did is very typical... I haven't sent angry emails to mine yet, but I have sent him a couple panicked emails and text messages during his, "i gotta think 'us' over" time. After the emails and texts were sent, I wanted to kick myself in the ass. What I try to do now is type up/write a letter and save it, but don't send it out. Just release and vent (which is why I ran to this message board!). Also, I don't know if a friend of yours is willing to do this, but one offered me to call her cell phone and leave crying messages to my ex on her phone so I at least get the chance to release everything pent up inside while channeling it towards him. Good luck and I know it's gotta be the most painful thing in your world right now. I'm going through the same right now and I can't wait until I'm able to function normally again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 9:41pm
I recently went through the same thing.
After I sent a heartfelt card, I felt so humiliated.
Please do not be so hard on yourself it has only been 6 days. I am going on 6 weeks of N/C and am already feeling better. Best Wishes
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sun, 08-26-2007 - 10:43pm

I'd hate to think that you or anyone who's felt or acted a bit out of control after something as world-flipping as a breakup would be sitting there beating yourselves up over what's done.

What's done is done.

Read that several times until it sinks in. It's done, it's over, it's a new day ladies (and gentlemen). The beauty of life is that every single day you get a fresh start, a brand new opportunity to do it right. That's it, that's the big secret to letting it go and living in the now.

If it makes anyone feel better, even though I didn't do the whole "losing it" thing right after the breakup, I did y'all one better: I lost it on him, went off and called him most names in the book a full three months after we broke up, it wasn't in a letter, it was over the phone and guess what, no one died from it. Take the lesson that *today* is a new day and that from today forward, now you know you need to do your crazy-lady acts in private, amongst your friends only. I **promise** you you'll all be okay, it'll just take some time and a little new-found restraint ;)

Thou shalt not beat yourselves up over this stuff.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 1:43pm

Hi curlygrl30,


Lots of people both men and women, do exactly what you did, early or later in the break up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:19pm
thank you for the support & great advice. His phone number has been changed so I won't be able to contact him anymore. I didn't call him just sent a few text msgs since last week but still. How can he just have his number changed. Like I did something to him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 08-27-2007 - 2:27pm
LOL sorry, I know what you mean about 'like I did something to him'.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 11:40am

laughs, well

If it makes you feel better. Right after our break up and for a couple weeks afterwards, I sent him long rambling ecards and set them all to be delivered in August. so I wrote 16 of them (aug 1-16) before I finally stopped. So we all do stupid things :D

Plus, my ip address got banned from the site after that. *laughs* It's tremendously funny now when I think back to it and nothing I would do over again now.

Susanna




Edited 8/28/2007 11:41 am ET by unicornssong
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 4:21pm

....."Plus, my ip address got banned from the site after that. *laughs*".....

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