If he could only be ready

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2007
If he could only be ready
Sat, 03-17-2007 - 3:28pm
Hey everyone,
I have been reading through these messages for a couple of days now and decided that I should write something so I can get some help too :) Me and my boyfriend dated for 1.5 year and just broke up 4 days ago. He is amazing...something so different from any other guy I have ever meet. He has always been so honest and true to me throughout our relationship. I really feel like he is the only man that I have met throughout my 23 years that I could see myself being with for a good while. Our relationship was always so fun and upbeat but the thing that I always felt was that he definately was not ready to settle down any time soon. He is 27 years old and I would think by now that we would be getting closer to a point where we can stay at home once in a while and just do nothing.
I went out of state last week and after being away from him for a few days I just had a lot of time to clear up my mind and think. I felt like I truly loved this man but that IU wasnt receiveing the same respect that I was giving him. I would always love to do anything for him like pick him up at the airport or any favor he needed. When it came to him his work and going out would stand in the way.
We sat down and talked and he started crying which is so out of the ordinary because he is this big tough guy that never shows emotion. He said that he loved me very much, probably more than anything else in this world but he knew he wasnt what I deserved. When I asked why he wasnt, his reasoning was I am just not ready to give you that next step because I feel like I dont even know who I am and how can I make this commitment to you wihout that. I agreed, I needed someone who was going to be there with me through challanges and not just avoid them and say I am not ready for this. He told me that he really saw me as a woman that he wanted to end up with one day but the way he was treating me right now I would probably just get over his crap and move on. He didnt want us to get to the stage where we are just hating each other and cant ever be togerher in the future. I understood this and agreed with him. I agree that he isnt ready for a lot of things but at the same time I am so angry with him because we have such a great time togerher, his family and friends all loved me and he is willing to pass me just like that. He says that he isnt passing me up but making himself better for me. This could be BS or plain truth, I dont know what to think. He says that if he didnt love me as much as he does that he could just keep on dating me because I am so great for him but he knows he isnt ready to give me what I deserve. At least he is honest I guess.
Anyway its hard...he means a lot to me. I havent been really to broken about it which everyone is wondering about. They are like you guys are so in love how are you not crazy over this. I dont know what it is but it feels like something bigger than me is telling me that it will be ok. We both said that if we are meant to be we will be and God will bring us back toghether. Now I want to hear some replies to this. Tell me if anyone went through this and how this ended up.
My friends scare me with the thought that in a few months he will be knocking at my door with a ring, strange !!! ;)