If I leave him alone I am letting him go

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
If I leave him alone I am letting him go
2
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 5:13pm

I know that is what I am supposed to do, but can't it be easier?


It's been about a month since the breakup. About a week of no contact. I am doing OKAY. But, now I am starting to feel guilty if I leave him alone (practice no contact) that I am letting him go and I just didn't care enough.


I am most upset wondering/worrying whether or not I will hear from this man again. I do not want him back right now (I still have SO much to work on). But, I am scared he won't be in my life anymore.


I cannot stand that relationships are so loving, so serious, so comfortable, etc and then your loved one goes just in the blink of an eye never to look back. I feel so expendable. We were engaged. How could he just throw me away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 02-15-2008 - 6:35pm

No one can tell you why.... but you are NOT LESS than because of his choices, decisions, actions or words.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2008
Sat, 02-16-2008 - 9:07am
Thank you, I needed to read that too. Although my ex wants to continue to work on things in the near future, there's too much damage between us to try right now (and I have alot I need to work on my own). He wanted to stay friends but it's too hard for me right now. NC was my decision, and while I am feeling a little bit stronger about it every day, I still worry that we will never talk again. Even after all the bad stuff, we were together for over 3 years, and there is alot of good history too, and a sort of bond between us (if that makes any sense). It's hard to imagine that being gone completely. I'm finding that try to control situations and how they will turn out. But I need to focus on myself and let things happen as they may. That is now my mantra - "FOCUS ON ME".