If it were someone else.....
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If it were someone else.....
| Mon, 02-04-2008 - 1:03pm |
...I'd be kicking their butt! Ok....its now going on 9 months since my breakup (and no contact at all in that time). It hasn't been the gut wrenching pain in months, but it has been the thoughts. More like, the constant "I would say this if he called" conversations in my head. CONSTANTLY! Drives me insane!!! I don't want him back...if he did try, I wouldn't even answer the call, or respond to email. But he is still in my head. Last night, as I got into bed, I suddenly had a snotty cry over it. I haven't cried in months either! What is it? Am I losing my mind for real? Why can't I just let go 100% instead of only 97%? I'm an intelligent, professional, together woman. I'm better than this! And as my subject says...if it were someone else, I'd be kicking their butt for letting someone still have a hold on them after all this time. Grrr.....I should be done with this!

Have you tried thought-stopping and/or turning your thoughts when he pops into your head?
I find this works amazingly well and super-quick:
When you start to have thoughts you don't want, simply say to yourself (silently or aloud), "Oh, ok.
Hey sniglet1,
Stop having the conversations in your head and put them on paper. Write it all out. Write him an UNSENT letter. Burn them when you are done. If you write them out, it will help them stay out of your head.
Hi Sniglet-
I know how you feel. If it were someone else telling me my story of breaking up, I would have SO MUCH to say and then some. In fact, I have already done this. I have told girls, whom are not close friends, if they ever wanted to talk, call me. And I would point out all of the problems, and not to beat themselves up, they are too good for him, it is his loss(it was), etc. I helped out a few people in this manner. You can always email me.
I wrote the letter Carrie suggested, and realized although in a world where I could say anything, it was a waste of my effort to write down all of the mean stuff I know I would say. Therefore it would just be a waste of my time & breath to verbalize it to him. I must be still in my ANGER phase. My ex will never get it.
You are right, you are too good for him, and, really, it is his loss. He will learn that one day, but as I have seen, it is always too late.
Hugs.
seachells