I'm about to break up with him
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| Sun, 04-09-2006 - 6:43pm |
I'm kind of in a bad place. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year, but recently (since I turned 21) I've been wanting to go out. Hes only 20 and he doesn't really like the bar scene. For example, when we go out to eat we go earlier then the dinner rush so its not crowded. But I liked him because he didn't like going out and we just hung out at his house and had a good time.
Well, about 2 months ago I met someone. It started out as just flirting and I'd see him every few weeks. Well, we ended up talking online a lot and now I have a huge crush on him. I thought I loved my boyfriend, but now I know that I do not. Even if I don't end up dating this new guy my relationship with my current boyfriend is over. He just doesn't know it yet. Its going to be a slap in the face to him and I feel completely horriable. I don't know how he is going to react, I don't know if he is going to call me a bitch or just be sad. I've had two other boyfriends in the past and I also ended those relationships, so I don't know what its like to be on the receiving end.
I really like this new guy and I want to see where things will go. But my boyfriend is my best friend, I spend all my free time with him and now I'm afraid of being alone, even though I don't want to hang out. (i know, messed up)
Well, to the point...any ideas on how to let him down lightly? Advice? Anything? I need it, I'm so confused.

Hi,
I think you're right when you say you're relationship is over even if things don't work out with the new guy.
Breaking up sucks, and there's no easy way of doing it. You have to make sure you go through with it, so don't give up when he breaks down. When I broke up with my ex, he got really mad and nasty with me, which in a weird way kind of made it easier to break up. If he breaks down, keep in mind why you want to break up and keep repeating it to yourself. Don't let him talk you into getting back together if you know that deep down inside you don't want to...
I don't know which reason is easiest to hear when someone wants to break up with you, but I do know that you should stick to the truth. Even if it hurts. (Being honest doesn't mean being blunt, you can be nice and still tell the truth) Breaking up is going to hurt a lot for both of you anyway, so I think the easiest on him is the truth. It hurts, but that way he can deal with it. Giving a false reason or one that is not the main reason for breaking up will probably give him false hope. Or he will have to deal with it twice, once for the reasons you gave, second time when he figures things out for himself/when he finds out the real reason.
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