I'm about to break the N/C rule....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
I'm about to break the N/C rule....
7
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:35pm

I'm about to email him "happy holidays and New Year".... and that's it.

We (he) broke up a little over 2 months ago after the pulling away a few times after every time we got closer. He definitely has his commitment issues. He emailed me Happy Thanksgiving, I didn't respond and he's checked out my profile the day I put it back up a couple weeks ago and then again around Christmas day.

I told myself I would wait until after the holidays if I was going to respond at all. I don't think I want anything from him...still stinks it didn't work out, the chemistry was incredible, but I did not like the constant pulling away...very confusing and I always felt in limbo. That is NOT want I'm looking for.

I've been talking to a couple other people and 1 guy there's some potential interest...we've met and talk on the phone a lot. Anyway, I'm not emailing to get him back, I don't want the old relationhsip back...just to extend the olive branch, no hard feelings. My only fear is I will feel I've lost my power. But it's now or never, and this is what my plan was....

so wish me luck!!!
Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 7:57pm

Seems like you've thought this out and it's not being done out of fear or desperation, so good luck!

Myspace Codes

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 8:01pm

Good luck, I hope it works out as you are hoping.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 8:11pm

yes, I hope he realizes it's an olive branch and doesn't think I'm pining away.

But you know what, I can't worry about that (so I tell myself)! I'm not and I don't intend to maintain contact hoping for something to change. He's a great guy in alot of ways, but now that I'm away from it, I understand why he's still single and in his mid-40's .... and I WANT a solid, committed relationship.... and unless and until he makes major changes with his intimacy issues, it's not going to be with him, no matter how much "potential" we had.

Yet, I'm still a little nervous, I guess I don't want to give him the wrong impression.... haven't sent the email yet....will tonight or never....

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Tue, 01-02-2007 - 8:13pm
Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 1:59pm
Did you send the email? Did he respond?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Wed, 01-03-2007 - 7:44pm

Yes, I sent very short statement, hope holidays were good and happy new year. He emailed back within 2 hours. Briefly told me how his holidays were, then said he would be out of town for the next few days, where he was going and why (which I vaguely remember him mentioning a couple months ago), and he wished me a happy new year.

I figured he would respond since he was in his own way making contact w/ me since we broke up. I have to admit, as I thought of him last night, I became a little melancholy....missing what I really liked about him... and just missing him...yet knowing he is how he is ...which is kind of sad because he's a good guy.

I plan to email him again (I KNOW I said I wouldn't! :) probably tomorrow to let him know my dad died. Which is something I just need to do. He provided me w/ support when I needed it through dad's illness. I didn't tell him when he died, cause I figured it was of no concern to him, plus I had my own stuff to deal with, but now it is full circle and I need to tell him ... for me.

I can almost guarantee when he gets back into town, reads the email, he'll respond with "I'm sorry", I'll email "thanks", then it will be done and over, no more contact on either side. Which sort of stinks, but that's just the way things turn out sometimes.

Thanks for asking!
zjaney

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 5:30pm

I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

I think it's perfectly acceptable to email him about that.