I'm afraid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
I'm afraid.
6
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 1:17am

Before we broke up, I was in a ldr. One of the biggest problems was my constant worrying that something would happen to him and I wouldn't know because I was 3 hours away.

Now that we're broken up, I can't help but worry about the same thing, except that now I know that no one will call me. I just want to scream at him that we don't have time for him to figure things out!

Does anyone else have this problem/worry? What do you do to get over it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 1:25am
i have the same worry, i completely understand. But because I know I can't do anything about it, i'm just trying to reassure myself that he'll be ok. Just don't stress over it. And if it gets too bad, call him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2004
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 1:54am

I have Obsessive Compuslive Disorder so I totally understand that!!

My advice? Worry about someone else! Transfer it to your best friend or something. It took me a long time to stop worrying everytime I heard there was an accident on the highway, that my ex was involved. But I don't anymore. He's out of my life and I can't spend my life fixated on that. So I choose to transfer my fixation to something/someone else.

Yesterday a guy threatened to blow himself up on the highway right near where my ex lives. I realize I'm at a good point now because I didn't worry about it when I heard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 2:10pm

Have you looked into the tendencies of 'codependent' people?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2008
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 5:31pm

Wow, I did the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2008
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 2:58pm

I haven't called him about it, but I see what you mean. I was overwhelming him with this before.

I know I should be focusing on me, but I'm finding it difficult. When I'm actively doing something, I'm fine and I've managed to keep myself extremely busy the last few weeks. It's just that as soon as I get some time alone that everything comes rushing back and I start to panic that I'll never be able to see him again. Do you think I'm just trading my dependence on him for a dependence on friends/activities? Is that ok?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 3:23pm

In the beginning of a break up, I think that is what a lot of us do.