I'm confused and hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2007
I'm confused and hurt
2
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 5:32pm

I was with my boyfriend for almost four years when out of

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2007
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 7:04pm

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm at 15 days of NC, and I have to say, a commercial that depicted a wedding has put me in a sucky mood, so I know that making decisions right now is not as simple as it seems.


I'm only telling you this because I care about you, but it sounds like your ex wants to keep you around in case the girl he's currently interested in doesn't work out. If he honestly cares and loves you like he says he does, then he will give you the time and space you need to heal.


I think you should go back to NC and completely heal from this relationship because the future is uncertain. You can't wait around for someone to be 'ready' to date you and to be in a relationship with you. What happens if you put your life on hold and you find out he's moved on without you? You are going to feel a lot worse than if you cut your losses now and grieve the relationship you used to have. Once you've gone through the grieving process, and if/when you're ready, call and let him know you're ready to start a friendship; but even then I think he's just giving you false hope to hang on to so he feels like the 'good guy' and he's not guilty about being the reason you're miserable.


It's been an emotional month for you, and it's your birthday so you're going to be especially maudlin about the relationship you had with him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 12:18pm

Welcome to the board almyboys,


Well, to me it sounds like he made contact with you to make himself feel better. In the middle of his grief, he turned to you, without regard to your hurt feelings, your grief or anything you've gone through in those 17 days.