I'm desperate to contact him

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
I'm desperate to contact him
1
Mon, 08-23-2004 - 1:08pm
My ex and I broke up about three weeks ago.

Our relationship was based on a strong friendship, we were very closed, we respected each other very much and I am sure he is concern about me.

Last week he sent me an email just to tell me he hoped I was fine and close to be free from suffering. I thought it would be easy for me to get over him but today I find increasingly difficult to realise that I will never see him again or know about him. I am desperate to send him an email to let him know what I am feeling.

My proble is that I still hope things can change. I think that I will never get over him unless he tells me straight away that he does not want anything with me again. I am being irrational but the truth is that I can't move on because there is something that tells me that maybe I could try again. If he rejects me I am sure I will be devastated but this time it will be for sure, no more hope will keep me stuck in the past anymore.

I am so afraid of doing this, my mind is messing with me all the time. Sometimes I think that he will understand and come back again, sometimes that he will reject me and feel pity about me. However, I know that I will feel relief because that doubt in my heart will disappear whatever the outcome might be.

Am I right? or am I about to make the worst mistake someone like me can do?

Iliana





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 2:35pm
Update

I did send him an email. I told him that I couldn't move on unless I was certain that there was no hope for us. It was such a relief, I did everything I could to sort things out and whatever is his decision I can move on. I recognised my problem, I was always frustrated with our relationship because things were not as I wanted them to be. He is not perfect, I am not perfect, therefore how could I demand a perfect relationship?.

He replied saying that he hasn't eliminated the possibility but asked whether I wanted to continue with a relationship that is going to end next year (I am from a different country and have to go back).

I said that I just want to live in the present, not to worry about the future anymore. We all have problems because we can never satisfy our wishes, we find difficult to accept things as they are and get frustrated and unhappy when we face reality.

I feel in peace now, whatever his answer is I can accept it.

Iliana