Im a happy being single but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2007
Im a happy being single but...
2
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:29pm

I can't help hoping that

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 2:39pm

::I can't help hoping that

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Mon, 02-18-2008 - 4:23pm

Hi Ross,

this is tough. I agree that it makes it hard to live in the moment if a part of you is still holding out for an ex. It also makes it hard to heal. I am going through the same thing.

This may sound odd, but it there a way you can shift your thinking from "she is the one I'm going to end up with" to "maybe there is a chance and if it's meant to be it will, but it's not a future I'm going to build my life around." That is what I am trying to do. There is so much love left between my ex and myself but for very good reasons we cannot be together now. I am leaving it up to fate/chance/whatever you like to call it and trying to move forward.

I too have gotten to a place where i'm pretty happy being single and know that i will want to start dating again in the next few months. I remind myself over and over that the ex is not a possibility for this. That if there indeed is a future for us, it will be years down the road and will not come as a result of planning on my part.

I hope that helps. It still sucks sometimes because I care about him, but it makes me feel more like I'm living my own life. :)