i'm hurting
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i'm hurting
| Fri, 10-20-2006 - 9:55pm |
My ex and I broke up about a year ago and i still have feelings for him. He jumps in and out of my life. He calls sometimes and says how he wants to be with me in the future and then I dont hear from him in a while. Then it is the same cycle all over again. He still has a hold on me. He hurt me pretty bad but I still love him. Nothing seems to work. I dont call him or anything like that but I do answer whenever he calls. Even though we are no longer together, he is the reason I dont want to date anyone else. I want to get over him but I dont know how. Can someone give me some advice?

To get over him and start your healing process stop answering his calls. Ignore them or change your number. This man has no right to pop in and out of your life making it a roller coaster for you. In part, you've allowed it to happen because by taking his calls and listening to his empty words you've "told" him that it's OK to do that. You've given him the green light to keep on calling at his own convenience.
Accepting that it's over is hard, hard as hell, BUT it's not impossible. This man is not good for you so he needs to go, from your mind and life altogether. Get out with friends, take up on a hobbie, read...get busy and in the swing of your life.
If you remember him with sadness focus on his behavior. He's NOT taking your feelings into consideration, he's playing a sick game and that's not acceptable. By calling you and telling you that he wants you back he's disrespecting you, because his words aren't true. He wants to play with your feelings. You can stop it.
You're not prepared to date again yet. Take time for yourself and take care of your needs. Cry if you must, BUT don't loss focus. You can't let this man waste more time of your life.
Hi,
Your story is similar to mine. Although I told him it was over, he always comes and goes, and has the power over me. Many times I told myself not to answer when he calls, but alway gave in. And many times, I thought I would never hear from him again, then he calls. I hate it how he has the power over this whole situation.
Good luck.
You give him power over you every time you take his call. Stop doing that. That is within your control.
Then look at the reason he calls - not because he loves you and wants to marry you, but because you are the back-up plan, you're old reliable chi1216 that will stroke his ego when he's down or lonely. Once he gets his 'fix' he dumps you and moves on again.
Until you recognize that you are being used, nothing will change. I wish you well on your healing path. I also suggest short term counseling to build your self-esteem so you can determine why you don't value yourself enough to know and believe you deserve better.
Carrie